Flat Tire in Alaska

Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Moose are the squirrels of Alaska. - Tim Moon

Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb

To err is human, for forgive, canine. - Unknown

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

A shop should be like a song of which you never tire. - Harry Gordon Selfridge

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen. - Unknown

Gigantic: The biggest, scariest bug in your dog's fur - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

Dogs come into our lives and leave paw prints on our hearts. - Unknown

Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts. - Charles Dickens

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

I may be a living legend, but that sure don't help when I've got to change a tire. - Roy Orbison

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash