#1 humor site on the 'net

Fake Brakes

Bubba knows how to scare off tailgaters

Fake Brakes thanks to Keith Blake

Tailgating: when a driver drives behind another vehicle while not leaving sufficient distance to stop without causing a collision if the vehicle in front stops suddenly.

QuotaBills
Fat: Energy gone to waist - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Anything that consoles is fake. - Iris Murdoch

Deep in their roots, all flowers keep the light. - Theodore Roethke

It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train. - Charles Barkley

What's done in the dark will be paraded in the light. - Charles Wynn

Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light. - Groucho Marx

It's better to light a candle than curse the darkness. - Chinese Proverb

Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. - Kahlil Gibran

Neonphancy: A fluorescent light bulb struggling to come to life - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can't fake quality any more than you can fake a good meal. - William S. Burroughs

Positive thinking evokes more energy, more initiative, more happiness. - Unknown

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. - Cathy Carlyle

I cannot hold onto grudges. It's a waste of energy, a waste of time. - Phil Anselmo

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made. - George Burns

And all we feared inside the night / shows true in morning's biased light. - Garth von Buchholz

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal. - Albert Camus

Love the moment, and the energy of that moment will spread beyond all boundaries. - Corita Kent

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

No matter what you're going through, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. - Demi Lovato

There are two kinds of light – the glow that illuminates, and the glare that obscures. - James Thurber

I like to put on a wig or a fake mustache and do something silly with friends, do a little dance. - Tom Lenk

Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it. - Maurice Chevalier

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new. - Socrates

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. - John Quinton

How would you like a job where, every time you make a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo? - Jacques Plante

People say that forgiving is my flaw, but I really believe that holding grudges and anger is a waste of energy. - Mayte Garcia

I exercise at least five times a week with stretching, Pilates, push-ups, planks, sit-ups, squats and light weights. - Reba McEntire

A father is neither an anchor to hold us back nor a sail to take us there, but a guiding light whose love shows us the way. - Unknown

Nothing prepared me for being this awesome. It's kind of a shock to wake up every morning and be bathed in this purple light. - Bill Murray

Remembering that each of us will take our turns in darkness and in light, let us be light for one another when the darkness falls. - Unknown

A rooster crows only when it sees the light. Put him in the dark and he'll never crow. I have seen the light and I'm crowing. - Muhammad Ali

A helping word to one in trouble is often like a switch in a railroad track ... an inch between a wreck and smooth, rolling prosperity. - Henry Ward Beecher

Love one another and help others to rise to the higher levels, simply by pouring out love. Love is infectious and the greatest healing energy. - Sai Baba

Fantasy has a dark side to it. It also has a light hemisphere - the power of the human imagination to keep going, to imagine a better tomorrow. - Tim O'Brien

The difficulties you meet will resolve themselves as you advance. Proceed, and light will dawn and shine with increasing clearness on your path. - Jim Rohn

If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise

We went down into the silent garden. Dawn is the time when nothing breathes, the hour of silence. Everything is transfixed, only the light moves. - Leonora Carrington

Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros


Redneck Cooler

Instead Of Flowers

Mt. Rushmore from the Canadian Side

I Love Summer

Karma Towing

Salmon-chanted Evening

Hands On Tree

Fart Facts

New Medicare Program for Senior Citizens

Down Under Bat

Muffler Hanger

Construction Playground

Couch Dog vs. Paint Shop Pros

Spaghetti Tree

Take Away Van

Will To Live

Redneck Bra

Politician Plane

Millennial Jump Start

City Work Crew's Slow Day

Granny Smith Apple

Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart

Spaghetti Digest

Nice Try, China