Enlightened Thinker

Bacon is duct tape for the kitchen. - Unknown

Experts should be on tap but never on top. - Winston Churchill

Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: eat out. - Phyllis Diller

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday. - Woody Allen

There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom. - Robert Millikan

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

I always had a fantasy of being a chef, because I like kitchen life. - Geoffrey Rush

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

The knowledge from an enlightened person breaks on the hard rocks of ignorance. - Mahesh Yogi

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove. - Groucho Marx

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. - Louis L'Amour

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. - Kin Hubbard

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. - Ambrose Bierce

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As an actor you become that lighting rod between the person who made the play and the audience. - Christopher Walken

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

In the words of Harry S. Truman, "If it's too hot in the kitchen, stay away from the cook." - Archie Bunker

Not when truth is dirty, but when it is shallow, does the enlightened man dislike to wade into its waters. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

What is a family except memories? Haphazard and precious as the contents of a catchall drawer in the kitchen. - Joyce C Oates

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Whenever I have a spare second, I'm in the kitchen whipping up a batch of cookies. I make a mean batch of chocolate chippers. - Karlie Kloss

Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second. - Robert Frost

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw