#1 humor site on the 'net

Enlightened Thinker

It's hard to find antique plumbing parts

Enlightened Thinker thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Keep a clean kitchen - dine out. - Unknown

A plumber's idea of Cleopatra. - WC Fields

Bacon is duct tape for the kitchen. - Unknown

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

Experts should be on tap but never on top. - Winston Churchill

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. - James Keller

He who would eat in Spain must bring his kitchen along. - German saying

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. - Harry S Truman

If I had my life to live over again, I’d be a plumber. - Albert Einstein

There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom. - Robert Millikan

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

The knowledge from an enlightened person breaks on the hard rocks of ignorance. - Mahesh Yogi

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove. - Groucho Marx

Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. - Louis L'Amour

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. - Kin Hubbard

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel but not in the kitchen. - George Bernard Shaw

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. - Ambrose Bierce

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As an actor you become that lighting rod between the person who made the play and the audience. - Christopher Walken

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

What is a family except memories? Haphazard and precious as the contents of a catchall drawer in the kitchen. - Joyce C Oates

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Whenever I have a spare second, I'm in the kitchen whipping up a batch of cookies. I make a mean batch of chocolate chippers. - Karlie Kloss

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw


2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Raxe

Male Multitasker

Fork In The Road

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Goat Trick

Genuine Fake Watches

Onward, My Noble Steed!

Edible Pet Clothing

Texas Diet

Grass Room

Stoolbus

Barn Owl Beauty

Car Elas Sale

Bestist

Cement Truck Lane

Cane Swimmers

Bartender Spill

Angry Mathematician

Matching Receipt

Where Nobody Speeds

A Good Woman

Front Row Seats

Always Full Glass