#1 humor site on the 'net

Edward Condom Hands

This guy should nose better

Edward Condom Hands thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Boredom is a sickness of the soul. - Unknown

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. - Haruki Murakami

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. - Kenji Miyazawa

Laughter is the tonic, the relief, the surcease for pain. - Charlie Chaplin

It is easy to stand a pain, but difficult to stand an itch. - Chang Ch'ao

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man. - Dr. Seuss

Quarantine: When a youth locks himself in his bedroom for months at a time - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased - thus do we refute entropy. - Spider Robinson

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

You purchase pain with all that joy can give and die of nothing but a rage to live. - Alexander Pope

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. - C S Lewis

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

The trouble with putting armor on is that, while it protects you from pain, it also protects you from pleasure. - Celeste Holm

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci

In order to have great happiness you have to have great pain and unhappiness - otherwise how would you know when you're happy? - Leslie Caron

Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha


Duck That Did Not Duck

Chewie, We're Home

Introducing the iPhone 20

Meateor

Ancient Shiloh

British Accountant

Ruling On Criticism

Going Into Space

Domino's Delivers Everywhere

Lord of the Wings

Crossed Wires

Monday Lisa

Pets Come First

If You Need Space

Economy Flight

Redneck Hailstone Damage

Wet Tents

Redneck Flu Shot

Japanese Diving Platform

All Mine

Cat Swimming at the Olympics

Yoga Food

Paint Room

Beer Cheers