#1 humor site on the 'net

Easy Fix

Washington State's red skin potatoes to the rescue!

Easy Fix thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Humor is a universal language. - Joel Goodman

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

What Washington needs is adult supervision. - Barack Obama

Music is the universal language of mankind. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

The art of communication is the language of leadership. - James Humes

Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become. - Mary McGrory

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin

Reality can be lost when reason and language have been violated. - Ravi Zacharias

A lucky person is someone who plants pebbles and harvests potatoes. - Greek Proverb

Changes in language often reflect the changing values of a culture. - Ravi Zacharias

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

Silence is the language of God; it is also the language of the heart. - Sivananda

When they asked George Washington for his ID, he just took out a quarter. - Steven Wright

All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

The calendar and the clock are all set by football season and the off-season. - Tom Coughlin

I believe in Coach Louis Wong. He is so much more than just a football coach. - Stephen Covey

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut. - Sam Rayburn

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

Every single diet I ever fell off of was because of potatoes and gravy of some sort. - Dolly Parton

So like any football or basketball coach, you always believe you're going to win. - Colin Powell

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

In life, as in football, you won't go far unless you know where the goalposts are. - Arnold H Glasgow

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. - Yakov Smirnoff

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in... it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

I may look like a potato now, but one day I'll turn into fries and you'll want me then. - Unknown

Although I am not a vain person, I believe that I am the very best footballer in the whole world. - Ronaldinho

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

I started out as a football player. I liked to inflict pain. In basketball, it was the same thing. - Shaquille O'Neal

Music is the language of the spirit. It opens the secret of life bringing peace, abolishing strife. - Kahlil Gibran

It is guaranteed to put all teeth on edge, including George Washington's, wherever they might be. - Vincent Canby

Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base. - William Arthur Ward

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

The man who has nothing to boast of but his illustrious ancestry is like the potato - the best part under ground. - Thomas Overbury

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours. - Milton Berle

Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally. - Alfred Hitchcock

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

I often say of George Washington that he was one of the few in the whole history of the world who was not carried away by power. - Robert Frost

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? - Jim Bouton

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh. - Conan O'Brien

Music is a language that doesn't speak in particular words. It speaks in emotions, and if it's in the bones, it's in the bones. - Keith Richards

The politicians in Washington are spending trillions of dollars of our money. When are Americans going to stand up and say enough is enough? - Joe Wurzelbacher

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes.
I hope they do get 'em lowered enough so people can afford to pay 'em. - Will Rogers


2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Rat Cut

Spot the Hidden Barred Owl

Smoking Hot Body

Billy the Eagle Owl

Star Wars Fisherman

The Devil's Swimming Pool

Pet Dentist

Nuts And Fruitcakes

Spiral Staircase

Scubaru

Nordern Minnesota Yeneral Store

Pigeon Drink

Epic Turban

Healthy Breakfast

Motorcycle Campers

Canadian Banknotes - Extreme Makeover For Toonie

Wheelchair Mower

How To Fail at Photoshopping Pictures

Life Expectancy by Age

Construction Clouds

It's Been A Good Day

Worst Aid

Dyslexic Camper