Joe-ks.com
#1 humor site on the 'net
Dr Pepper Financing
'Soft Drink Credit' now available
Dr Pepper is a carbonated soft drink, created in the 1880s by pharmacist Charles Alderton in Waco, Texas, and first served around 1885. To test his new drink, Alderton offered it to store owner Wade Morrison, who also found it to his liking. Patrons at Morrison's soda fountain soon learned of Alderton's new drink and began ordering a "Waco". Alderton gave the formula to Morrison, who named it Dr. Pepper (later stylized as "Dr Pepper", removing the '.')
He buries gold who hides the truth. - Pythagoras
When money speaks, truth keeps silent. - Russian Proverb
A TV licence is a licence to print money. - Roy Thomson
Life is a game. Money is how we keep score. - Ted Turner
I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar. - Steven Wright
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it. - Mark Twain
Print some money and give it to us for the rain forests. - Vivienne Westwood
A woman's best protection is a little money of her own. - Clare B Luce
If a little money does not go out, great money will not come in. - Chinese Proverb
Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repairing. - Billy Rose
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy. - Spike Milligan
Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists. - John Kenneth Galbraith
After I make a lot of money, I'll be able to afford running for office. - Christy Romano
I don't care how much money you have, free stuff is always a good thing. - Queen Latifah
Cocaine is God’s way of telling you you’re making too much money. - Robin Williams
Will you marry me? Do you have any money?
Answer the second question first. - Groucho Marx
Giving your son a skill is better than giving him one thousand pieces of gold. - Chinese Proverb
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket. - Will Rogers
Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul. - Democritus
It's not about money. It's about the people you have, and how you're led. - Steve Jobs
Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek
Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown
Money itself doesn't interest me. But you must make money to go on building the business. - Rupert Murdoch
Gonna be incrimated... they're gonna keep the ashes around the house in one of them silver urinals. - Archie Bunker
Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader
Money frees you from doing things you dislike.
Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. - Groucho Marx
Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score. The real excitement is playing the game. - Donald Trump
When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is. - Oscar Wilde
The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner
America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown
Keeping books on social aid is capitalistic nonsense. I just use the money for the poor. I can't stop to count it. - Evita Peron
Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla. - Jim Bishop
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing
Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million. - Arnold Schwarzenegger
Money isn't the most important thing in life, but it's reasonably close to oxygen on the "gotta have it" scale. - Zig Ziglar
There are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny - have you ever tried to buy them without money? - Ogden Nash
NEED now means wanting someone else's money. GREED means wanting to keep your own. COMPASSION is when a politician arranges the transfer. - Joseph Sobran
Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly
I deal with foreign countries. I made a lot of money dealing against China. I've made a lot of money dealing against many other countries. - Donald Trump
If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers
When money speaks, truth keeps silent. - Russian Proverb
A TV licence is a licence to print money. - Roy Thomson
Life is a game. Money is how we keep score. - Ted Turner
I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar. - Steven Wright
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it. - Mark Twain
Print some money and give it to us for the rain forests. - Vivienne Westwood
A woman's best protection is a little money of her own. - Clare B Luce
If a little money does not go out, great money will not come in. - Chinese Proverb
Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repairing. - Billy Rose
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy. - Spike Milligan
Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists. - John Kenneth Galbraith
After I make a lot of money, I'll be able to afford running for office. - Christy Romano
I don't care how much money you have, free stuff is always a good thing. - Queen Latifah
Cocaine is God’s way of telling you you’re making too much money. - Robin Williams
Will you marry me? Do you have any money?
Answer the second question first. - Groucho Marx
Giving your son a skill is better than giving him one thousand pieces of gold. - Chinese Proverb
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket. - Will Rogers
Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul. - Democritus
It's not about money. It's about the people you have, and how you're led. - Steve Jobs
Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek
Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown
Money itself doesn't interest me. But you must make money to go on building the business. - Rupert Murdoch
Gonna be incrimated... they're gonna keep the ashes around the house in one of them silver urinals. - Archie Bunker
Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader
Money frees you from doing things you dislike.
Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. - Groucho Marx
Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score. The real excitement is playing the game. - Donald Trump
When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is. - Oscar Wilde
The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner
America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown
Keeping books on social aid is capitalistic nonsense. I just use the money for the poor. I can't stop to count it. - Evita Peron
Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla. - Jim Bishop
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing
Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million. - Arnold Schwarzenegger
Money isn't the most important thing in life, but it's reasonably close to oxygen on the "gotta have it" scale. - Zig Ziglar
There are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny - have you ever tried to buy them without money? - Ogden Nash
NEED now means wanting someone else's money. GREED means wanting to keep your own. COMPASSION is when a politician arranges the transfer. - Joseph Sobran
Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly
I deal with foreign countries. I made a lot of money dealing against China. I've made a lot of money dealing against many other countries. - Donald Trump
If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers
Wailea Splendour
Me No Study
Peter Cotton Ale
Social Distancing Champ
GPS Directions
Secret Exit
Clippendales
Starborks
Post-Apocalyptical Section
Hide And Sikh
Yoga Pants
Really Good Day
Be Someone
My Time
Algebra Relationship
Mask Shortage
Exit Not Found
Early Shave
Dementia Purse
Quarantine Response
Braided Horse Tail
Government Debt
Statue Tug Of War
Kiosk Hours