#1 humor site on the 'net

Disaster Preparation

Can never get enough for the panic room

Disaster Preparation thanks to Barry McCartney

Disaster Preparation thanks to Barry McCartney

Disaster Preparation thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

That virus is a pussycat. - Peter Duesberg

Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper

Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

This virus just breaks all the rules. - Thomas Scott

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Every time somebody gets the Ebola virus, it mutates. - Glenn Beck

Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction. - Pierre Pachet

Like toilet paper, laughter is in short supply these days. - Phil Callaway

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

We can't predict what a virus we've never seen will do. - Marc Lipsitch

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Ignorance is a virus. Once it starts spreading, it can only be cured by reason. - Neil Tyson

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope

Equine Influenza: A viral respiratory disease which causes flu-like symptoms in horses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When we panic, we instinctively turn to our own internal resources because we doubt Him. - Charles R. Swindoll

Offer them what they secretly want, and they of course immediately become panic-stricken. - Jack Kerouac

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Viral marketing is almost like finding love. You have to stop doing it to actually make it happen. - Tim Topham

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

The concept that vaccine-induced immunity is superior in any way to natural immunity is sheer nonsense. - Dr Steven Pelech

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster; it's more like a cha-cha. - Robert Brault

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman


They All Look So Jacozy

Sunset Eclipse

Ikea Blueprint

Flight of the Ladybug

Nerve Twitch

Yellowstone Bears

Kayak Funeral

Dutch Bike

Breadlace

Sled Dog

Hog Hunter

Magic Puppies

Log Sticks

Tree Face

Camper Tank

Shipley Donut Pants

Distressing Artwork

Child's Motorcycle Helmet

Montana Mountain Bike

Sealtastic

Bland Entrance

Cruising Advice

Cat Dugout

Open Drive Through