#1 humor site on the 'net

Croatian Landscaping

All went well until they came upon the first overpass

Croatian Landscaping thanks to Winston Roffe

QuotaBills
My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

Trees often transplanted seldom prosper. - Flemish Proverb

Hunger will lead a fox out of the forest. - Poland Proverb

The apple will fall under the apple tree. - Greek Proverb

The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit. - Moliere

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. - Rodney Dangerfield

By trying often, the monkey learns to jump from the tree. - Cameroon Proverb

The patriot's blood is the seed of Freedom's tree. - Thomas Campbell

He knows his olive trees better than he knows his children. - Rebecca Helm-Ropelato

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus

If you don't like where you are, move. You are not a tree. - Unknown

When you think about a walking tree, laughter is the response. - John Rhys-Davies

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

If you tell a joe-k in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joe-k? - Steven Wright

Zealotry: 1. The enemy of idealism; 2. What a tree salesman likes to do. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson

If we surrendered to earth's intelligence, we could rise up rooted like trees. - Rainer M Rilke

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. - Nelson Henderson

A cold wind was blowing from the north, and it made the trees rustle like living things. - George R.R. Martin

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. - Bill Vaughan

The stars are like the trees in the forest, alive and breathing. And they're watching me. - Haruki Murakami

The heart of another is a dark forest, always, no matter how close it has been to one's own. - Willa Cather

If you reveal your secrets to the wind, don't blame the wind for revealing them to the trees. - Kahlil Gibran

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence. - Hal Borland

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? - Unknown

Wood: That remarkable material which burns so easily in a forest and with such difficulty in a fireplace - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. - John Muir

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown

In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect. Trees can be contorted, bent in weird ways, and they're still beautiful. - Alice Walker

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


Close Shave

Australian RV

Panorama Dog

Revenue Canada Subscription Cancellation

Why You Shouldn't Let Your Dog Drink Beer

Reflection

Plane Tennis

New IRS Form

Wisconsin Cheese

MAGA King

Baby Formula

When Gas Costs Too Much

Shoemobile

Salmon Street

Pandemic Treaty

People Of The River

SUV Sinkhole

Hope

Blonde's 710 Cover

Dragon Playground

Redneck Boat Ramp

Jack-A-Lope vs Jack-E-Lope

Urleen

Carry On or Carrion?