Cow Vacation

Laughter is an instant vacation. - Milton Berle

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

Sacred cows make the best hamburger. - Mark Twain

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

I take my vacation on the combine and tractor. - Jon Tester

Valentine's Day is the poet's holiday. - Ted Kooser

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

We can dance on pinheads till the cows come home. - Alastair Campbell

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

The secret of success is to make your vocation your vacation. - Mark Twain

Unemployment insurance is a pre-paid vacation for freeloaders. - Ronald Reagan

No man needs a vacation so much as the man who has just had one. - Elbert Hubbard

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other milk. - Ogden Nash

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow. - Grant Wood

If Autocorrect was a person I would never go on a vacation with it. - Paula Pell

Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo

Dear Monday, you should take a holiday. Trust me, no one will miss you. - Unknown

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans. - Tom Robbins

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle

Seems like Americans just want it to be Halloween all year. The holiday just keeps getting more popular. - Amity Shlaes

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

Celebrate the happiness that friends are always giving, make every day a holiday and celebrate just living! - Amanda Bradley

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

Airport screeners are now scanning holiday fruitcakes. Not even the scanners can tell what those little red things are. - David Letterman

I could dance with you till the cows come home...
on second thought, I'll dance with the cows till you come home. - Groucho Marx

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

Retirement is like a long vacation in Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. - Jonathan Clements

For almost seventy years the life insurance industry has been a smug sacred cow feeding the public a steady line of sacred bull. - Ralph Nader

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

The great outdoors is a theme with me; a walking holiday in Scotland is perfect - Culloden and the forests of Aviemore are both favourites. - Erin O'Connor

Free speech is not to be regulated like diseased cattle and impure butter. The audience that hissed yesterday may applaud today, even for the same performance. - William O. Douglas

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to. - P.J. O'Rourke

Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. - Dwight D Eisenhower

If ever there was a holiday that deserves to be commercialized, it's Halloween. We haven't taken it away from kids. We've just expanded it so that the kid in adults can enjoy it, too. - Cassandra Peterson