#1 humor site on the 'net

Covid-19 Protection

Halting the spreading Coronavirus infection

Covid-19 Protection thanks to Tim Smith

Covid-19 Protection thanks to Tim Smith

QuotaBills
Anatomy is destiny. - Sigmund Freud

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. - Haruki Murakami

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

God is a concept by which we measure our pain. - John Lennon

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

Leaders don't inflict pain; they share pain. - Max Depree

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson

Champions expect pain, endure pain, and never complain. - Unknown

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. - Kenji Miyazawa

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. - Bob Marley

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Markus Herz

Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette

My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

Pleasure of love lasts but a moment. Pain of love lasts a lifetime. - Bette Davis

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea. - Walter Bagehot

Save one life, you're a hero. Save 100 lives, you're a nurse. - Unknown

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. - Joseph Campbell

You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it. - J K Rowling

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live. - Kanye West

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you known it is healed. - Lyanla Vanzant

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea. - Pearl S. Buck

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. - C S Lewis

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

Pain is neither intolerable nor everlasting... it is in the power of the soul to maintain its own serenity. - Marcus Aurelius

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler

The pain you feel today is the strength you feel tomorrow. For every challenge encountered there is opportunity for growth. - Unknown

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

While some pain is probably inevitable in all relationships, successful couples are usually the ones who are able to forgive. - Ilona Boniwell

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

So often the difference from where we are, and where God wants us to be, is the pain we aren't wiling to endure to get there. - Craig Groeschel

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman

There are two ways you can get through pain. You can let it destroy you, or you can use it as fuel to drive you: to dream bigger, to work harder. - Taylor Swift


One At A Time

Shofar So Good

Temple Car

Closing Time

Wine Glass Lanyard

Awning Truck Advertising

Plugged In

Org Chart - Simplified Version

Extreme Value

Instant Acrophobia

How To Hire Engineers

Business School Basics

Waterwheel Rotisserie

Elephant Bus

Promote Yourself

Time Machine

Redneck Engagement Ring

Forever Clean Toilet

Edible Clock

Up-Set & Hungry Trucks

Bear Pinata

Swim Vacation

What Are Your Skills?

Portable Barber Shop