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Anatomy is destiny. - Sigmund Freud

Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

The pain passes, but the beauty remains. - Pierre-August Renoir

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. - Haruki Murakami

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

Pleasure of love lasts but a moment. Pain of love lasts a lifetime. - Bette Davis

Save one life, you're a hero. Save 100 lives, you're a nurse. - Unknown

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. - C S Lewis

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

The trouble with putting armor on is that, while it protects you from pain, it also protects you from pleasure. - Celeste Holm

The more pain that's referenced or implied, the deeper the laugh can be because the laughter heals the pain. - Mimi Kennedy

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci

'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Vader deactivated his lightsaber, picked up the comm, opened the channel, and let the sound of his respirator carry over the connection. - Kevin Hearne

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

If I'm ever stuck on a respirator or a life support system, I definitely want to be unplugged, but not until I'm down to a size eight. - Henriette Mantel


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