#1 humor site on the 'net

Coughy Filter

How coronavirus patients drink their coffee

Coughy Filter thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Corona-rary bypass - Archie Bunker

That virus is a pussycat. - Peter Duesberg

Has Beans: Used coffee grounds - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love, and a cough, cannot be hid. - George Herbert

Coffee and love taste best when hot. - German Proverb

Humanity is just a virus with shoes. - Bill Hicks

This virus just breaks all the rules. - Thomas Scott

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

Mugging: Stealing someone's coffee - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A morning without coffee is like sleep. - Unknown

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? - Steven Wright

Your messages are all the coffee I need. - Unknown

IN GOD WE TRUST: All others we virus scan - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Corona: A person who possesses a vehicle. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown

I like my men like I like my coffee. Silent. - Anna Kendrick

How I feel when there is no coffee? DEPRESSO - Unknown

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Coffee,chocolate, men. The richer the better! - Unknown

Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? - Albert Camus

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. - T S Eliot

When at a loss how to go on, in speaking, cough. - Greek Proverb

Leanardo De Cappuccino: Founder, coffee shop chain - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hackchoo: When you sneeze and cough at the same time - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Every time somebody gets the Ebola virus, it mutates. - Glenn Beck

I'd rather take coffee than compliments just now. - Louisa May Alcott

I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight. - The Devil Wears Prada

I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek

Depresso: The feeling you get when you run out of coffee - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Life without books, chocolate and coffee is just useless. - Nadun Lokuliyanage

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank. - Alphonse Allais

Love is like a virus. It can happen to anybody at any time. - Maya Angelou

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos

Coffee and chocolate - the inventor of mocha should be sainted. - Cherise Sinclair

We can't predict what a virus we've never seen will do. - Marc Lipsitch

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

Without my morning coffee, I'm just like a dried-up piece of goat. - J.S. Bach

Irony: 1. Being witty at all costs; 2. A vegetarian catching swine flu. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

What would life be without coffee? But then, what is it even with coffee? - King Louis XV

Acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing. - Ralph Richardson

I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan

Ignorance is a virus. Once it starts spreading, it can only be cured by reason. - Neil Tyson

If there's no coffee, I'm not getting up. Make Groundhog Day just better. - ethicalbean

It's amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee. - Donna A Favors

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

The single biggest threat to man's continued dominance on the planet is the virus. - Joshua Lederberg

Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope

Equine Influenza: A viral respiratory disease which causes flu-like symptoms in horses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I don't want to hear about your troubles. - Charles Bukowski

A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

I don't want a flu jab. I like getting flu. It gives me something else to complain about. - David Letterman

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea. But if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. - Abraham Lincoln

Jitterbug: 1. A Scotchman in front of a pay toilet; 2. Insect that's had too much coffee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee, and then after that still don't talk to me. - Unknown

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax - tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough. - Pearl Williams

The concept that vaccine-induced immunity is superior in any way to natural immunity is sheer nonsense. - Dr Steven Pelech

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda


Raise Twins

Redneck Baby Stroller

Dog Lookout

Porpoise Pilots

Redneck Lawn Mower Delivery

Military Cuts Have Gone Too Far

Loose Lips Sink Ships

Bald Helmet

Tasmanian PiggyBack Ride

Rim Fail

Trillion Dollar Man

How Grandma Handles Windows

2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Two Small Men With Big Loads Moving Co.

Snowman Meal

First Snow Blower

Spot the K-Mart Shopper

Designer Lamp

Long Winter

New 50 Pence Coin

Truck Art

Redneck Chair Repair

Bus Head Rest

How Big Was It?