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The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

This virus just breaks all the rules. - Thomas Scott

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Growth itself contains the germ of happiness. - Pearl S. Buck

Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

Find a purpose to serve, not a lifestyle to live. - Criss Jami

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Democracy breeds the germs of its own destruction. - V I Lenin

The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction. - Pierre Pachet

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ambition is the germ from which all growth of nobleness proceeds. - Oscar Wilde

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed

Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship. - Patrick Henry

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid

Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha

Nurse: 1. A woman whose business is to make sickness a pleasure; 2. A young women who holds your wrist and then expects your pulse to be normal. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


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