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Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Humanity is just a virus with shoes. - Bill Hicks

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Growth itself contains the germ of happiness. - Pearl S. Buck

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette

Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington

Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship. - Patrick Henry

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster


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