#1 humor site on the 'net

Clorox Respirator

How to stay home and stay safe in Africa

Clorox Respirator thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Sickness soaks the purse. - International Proverb

Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship. - Patrick Henry

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

Vader deactivated his lightsaber, picked up the comm, opened the channel, and let the sound of his respirator carry over the connection. - Kevin Hearne

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman


Friendly BBQ Reminder

Geek Piano

Ugly Haircut

XL Safety Shoes

Dance With Me

Secret Exit

Drawing A Fine Line

Fastest Land Mammal

First Driving Lesson

Foot-Ball

Vantastic

Ford Was All We Had

Mustang Limo

Mom Tested, Mom Approved

Suddenly An Oven

Lego Sushi

Got Your Nose

Covid-19 Protection

Vuvuzela Hits

You Are Grounded

Crosswalk Climber

Happy ARRRRRRRHH!

City Beach Castle

Martini Shirt