Clorox Respirator

Sickness soaks the purse. - International Proverb

Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper

Boredom is a sickness of the soul. - Unknown

Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright