#1 humor site on the 'net

Clean Phone

My son asked if he could help hand-wash things to prevent Coronovirus

Clean Phone thanks to Sybil Walsh

QuotaBills
Dead Ringer: A disconnected telephone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If the phone doesn't ring it's me. - Jimmy Buffett

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone. - W H Auden

I do everything on my phone as a lot of people do. - Mark Zuckerberg

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill. - Henny Youngman

Normal is nothing more than a cycle on a washing machine. - Whoopi Goldberg

I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying. - Unknown

The Internet is a telephone system that's gotten uppity. - Clifford Stoll

My mom always said normal is just a cycle on the washing machine. - Wynonna Judd

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? - James Thurber

If it’s the Psychic Network, why do they need a phone number? - Robin Williams

Cleaning up with children around is like shoveling during a blizzard. - Margaret C Banning

Quarterback: What you'll never get if you misdial from a pay phone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Most of life's great moments happen when your phone is in your pocket. - Unknown

Life is like looking for your phone. Most of the time it's in your hand. - Unknown

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

I've had a lot of luck. If I didn't I'd be washing bottles in Russia. - Marat Safin

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole. - Unknown

A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen

Mobile phones are the only subject on which men boast about who's got the smallest. - Neil Kinnock

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

People are prisoners of their phones; that's why it's called a 'cell' phone. - Unknown

The fantasy of every Australian man is to have two women - one cleaning and the other dusting. - Maurenn Murphy

E-mails are letters, after all, more lasting than phone calls, even if many of them r 2 cursory 4 u. - Anna Quindlen

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

The main Facebook usage is so big. About 20 percent of the time people spend on their phone is on Facebook. - Mark Zuckerberg

My cell phone is acting up - I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work. - Unknown

Phonesia: The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. - Ogden Nash

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

Telephone: An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. - Ambrose Bierce

Carry your courage in an easily accessible place, the way you do your cellphone or your wallet. Courage is the ultimate career move. - Anna Quindlen

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

Cell phones, mobile e-mail, and all the other cool and slick gadgets can cause massive losses in our creative output and overall productivity. - Robin S Sharma

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion... I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward. - Kurt Vonnegut

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown


Long Liquor Store

Musical Spoons

We Open

Poultry Breakfast

Welcome To Manitoba

Circus Escape

Never Do Anything Wrong

Senior Beer Drinker's Bar

Pumping Services

Cicada Man

Leading Edge Climber

Codfather

Doughnut Monster Truck

One At A Time

Shark Swim

2007 Ford Shelby GR1 Concept Car

Starbucks' New Mega Coffee

Chicks Be Like

Made His Bed

Mandeville Mascot

Morning After Dog

Thanks Granny

Redneck Hands-Free Driving

No Passing Lanes