Car Playground

Life is too short for traffic. - Dan Bellack

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

There are no traffic jams on the extra mile. - Zig Ziglar

Inflation: everyone's illusion of wealth - Unknown

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

If we choose, we can live in a world of comforting illusion. - Noam Chomsky

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. - Jay London

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

Never say never because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion. - Michael Jordan

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The true object of all human life is play. Earth is a task garden; heaven is a playground. - G K Chesterton

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

Writing is very much a playground - an artistic playground. It's the most fun thing I do. - Shania Twain

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides. - Margaret Thatcher

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

It's much easier to double your business by doubling your conversion rate than doubling your traffic. - Bryan Eisenberg

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

In neighborhoods without a usable park or playground, the incidence of childhood obesity increases by 29 percent. - Darell Hammond

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

The evolution of playground equipment has been to this ever safer, less challenging, less interesting assemblies of equipment. - Gever Tulley

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Social media is about friending someone so they'll invite you to a party or get you a job. If that's the work, Snapchat is the playground. - Evan Spiegel