Can I Lick It

Minimum: A small mother - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mamogram: A telegram to Mom - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As is the mother, so is her daughter. - Bible

Necessity is the mother of invention. - Unknown

Necessity is the mother of attraction. - Luke McKissack

I got 99 donuts 'cause my Mom ate one. - Unknown

An ounce of mother is worth a tone of priest. - Spanish Proverb

There is no place like home - except Grandma's. - Unknown

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother. - Abraham Lincoln

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

I got to grow up with a mother who taught me to believe in me. - Antonio Villaraigosa

A mother's arms are more comforting than anyone else's. - Princess Diana

Blaming mother is just a negative way of clinging to her still. - Nancy Friday

To a child's ear, 'mother' is magic in any language. - Arlene Benedict

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother. - Unknown

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. - Erma Bombeck

I don't believe in God because I don't believe in Mother Goose. - Clarence Darrow

No one else, ever, will think you're great the way your mother does. - Mary Matalin

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. - Unknown

Summer Camps: Those places where little boys go for mother's vacation. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

Antifreeze: What happens to your mother's sister when you steal her blanket - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller

Enthusiasm is the mother of effort, and without it nothing great was ever achieved. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. - Irish Proverb

My mother is no spring chicken although she has got as many chemicals in her as one. - Edna Everage

You know you're a mom when you understand why mama bear's porridge was cold. - Jody Defries

I not only think we tamper with Mother Nature, I think that Mother Nature wants us to. - Willard Gatlin

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

The only place you’re sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother. - Bruce Lansky

A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt. - Woodrow Wilson

My mom was fair. You never knew whether she was going to swing with her right or her left. - Herb Caen

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. - Robert Frost

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

My mother had this amazing attitude in the face of everything, including when she got cancer. - Bill Clinton

There's a reason some people think they can achieve anything. They listened to their mother. - Unknown

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out. - George Brett

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

Sayin' grace - it's just thankin' Mother Nature, whose 1st name just happens to be Grace. - Archie Bunker

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

They want people like your mother down there because they know they ain't got no pre-conscrewed ideas. - Archie Bunker

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. - G Norman Collie

A man never sees all that his mother has been to him until it's too late to let her know that he sees it. - W D Howells

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

In Hollywood, you play a mom, and the next thing you know, you're on The Golden Girls. They age you so fast. - Gabrielle Union

Over the years, I learned so much from mom. She taught me about the importance of home and history and family and tradition. - Martha Stewart

I went over to the neighbor's and asked to borrow a cup of salt. "What are you making?" "A salt lick." - Steven Wright

By embracing your mother wound as your yoga, you transform what has been a hindrance in your life into a teacher of the heart. - Phillip Moffitt

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

My mother was a reader, and she read to us. She read us Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde when I was six and my brother was eight. I never forgot it. - Stephen King

The most beautiful word on the lips of mankind is the word 'Mother', and the most beautiful call is the call of 'My Mother'. - Kahlil Gibran

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten