#1 humor site on the 'net

Boycott Bills

Slave owners depicted on U.S. currency no longer acceptable

Boycott Bills thanks to Roy Taylor

U.S. banknotes
$1 - George Washington
$20 - Andrew Jackson
$50 - Ulysses S. Grant
$100 - Benjamin Franklin

QuotaBills
Money is just an idea. - Robert T. Kiyosaki

How much money is enough? - Talmud

Money often costs too much. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Every cloud has a silver lining. - Proverb

Private jets cost a lot of money. - Donald Trump

Money doesn't talk, it swears. - Bob Dylan

Too much money ain't enough money. - Lil Wayne

Virtue has never as respectable as money. - Mark Twain

A TV licence is a licence to print money. - Roy Thomson

Insurance is for people who don't have money. - Neil Zukerman

Waitress: A woman who thinks money grows on trays - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To shorten winter, borrow some money due in spring. - W.J. Vogel

Value Investing: The art of buying low and selling lower - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Being rich is having money, being wealthy is having time. - Stephen Swid

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money. - Bob Hope

I don't like money, actually, but it quiets my nerves. - Joe Louis

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

Enjoy money while you have it. Shrouds don't have pockets. - Virginia Esberg

Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki. - Nigel Starmer-Smith

The man who has no inner life is the slave of his surroundings. - Henri Amiel

If a little money does not go out, great money will not come in. - Chinese Proverb

I don't trust a bank that would lend money to such a poor risk. - Robert Benchley

Yachting: standing in a cold shower tearing up hundred-dollar bills. - Unknown

If socialists understood economics, they wouldn't be socialists. - Friedrich Von Hayek

A hundred wagonloads of thoughts will not pay a single ounce of debt. - Italian Proverb

A billion here, a billion there - pretty soon it adds up to real money. - Everett Dirksen

Why pay a dollar for a bookmark? Why not use the dollar for a bookmark? - Steven Spielberg

I can remember way back when a liberal was generous with his own money. - Will Rogers

Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop. - Gertrude Stein

The man who never has money to pay his debts has too much of something else. - J.L. Basford

The way to get things done is not to mind who gets the credit of doing them. - Benjamin Jowett

I'm a dirt person. I trust the dirt. I don't trust diamonds and gold. - Eartha Kitt

Will you marry me? Do you have any money?
Answer the second question first. - Groucho Marx

Giving your son a skill is better than giving him one thousand pieces of gold. - Chinese Proverb

Time is money, especially when you're talking to a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe-kster

When I get a little money, I buy books. If any is left, I buy food and clothes. - Erasmus

Political success is the ability, when the inevitable occurs, to get credit for it. - Laurence J Peter

With money in your pocket, you are wise and you are handsome - and you sing well too. - Yiddish Proverb

It's not about money. It's about the people you have, and how you're led. - Steve Jobs

The rich take life one financial year at a time. The poor take life one meal at a time. - Mokokoma Mokhonoana

If you want to find money, focus on people. If you want to lose people, focus on money. - Rob Liano

They say love is more important than money. Have you tried paying your bills with a hug? - Dave Chapelle

If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to. - Alexander Pope

God gives men wisdom as he gives them gold; his treasure house is not the mint, but the mine. - Arabic Proverb

Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is, I don't know which half. - John Wannamaker

Gorilla tourism is vital to Rwanda's economy: It's the third highest source of income. - Andy Serkis

I actually lost 90 pounds over the course of 15 months in order to save money on life insurance. - Derek Kilmer

The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated. - H L Mencken

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

The only reason I'm in Hollywood is that I don't have the moral courage to refuse the money. - Marlon Brando

Those who will not reason are bigots, those who cannot are fools, and those who dare not are slaves. - George Gordon

Gonna be incrimated... they're gonna keep the ashes around the house in one of them silver urinals. - Archie Bunker

Money frees you from doing things you dislike.
Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. - Groucho Marx

Gold and diamonds are nice, but clean, crisp, controlled water has long been the preeminent hallmark of the rich. - Anthony Doerr

We so often achieve success or financial independence after the chief reason for which we sought it has passed away. - Ellen Glasgow

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing

Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea. - Woody Allen

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

Happiness, not money or prestige, should be regarded as the ultimate currency - the currency by which we take measure of our lives. - Tal Ben-Shahar

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung

I have respect for Senator McCain. I used to like him a lot. I supported him. I raised a lot of money for his campaign against President Obama. - Donald Trump

The 77 cents that women make for every dollar men earn makes a real difference to our families - families stretching to make every dollar count. - Barbara Mikulski

Commerce: A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E. - Ambrose Bierce

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer


ACME Pumpkin Carving

Future Therapy

Scary Pumpkin

Getting It To Work

Halloween Night 1914

Halloween Coffee

Halloween Cyclist

Florida Halloween

Halloween Beer Dispenser

Pupkin Carving

Spooky Halloween House

Halloween Clouds

Eye Do

Halloween Pit Bull

Halloween Birth

Broom Size

Hobbit Halloween

Halloween Pie

Just Two Buddies Hanging Out

Jewbacca

Colour Wheel

Halloween Driver Costume

Book Cover Pumpkin

Cabin Illusion