#1 humor site on the 'net

Bourbon Shampoo

No, officer, I haven't been drinking...

Bourbon Shampoo thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

Eyebrows: What I do when I go shopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

Tailor Shop: Last of the big-time menders - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Inequality of knowledge is the key to a sale. - Neil O Gustafson

What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb

A man without a smiling face should not open a shop. - Chinese Proverb

A shop should be like a song of which you never tire. - Harry Gordon Selfridge

Pre-Law: The major of a person who will end up in sales - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Traditional methods of sales prospecting are grossly inefficient. - Jill Konrath

You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo. - Unknown

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate. - Phyllis Diller

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop. - Gertrude Stein

Bargain Sale: A place where a woman can ruin one dress while she buys another - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

I don't smoke dope, I don't drink bourbon. All I want to do is shake my turban. - Peter Singh

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse

I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale." - Steven Wright

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Some wish to live within the sound of church or chapel bell; I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of hell. - C.T. Studd

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera. - Unknown

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

People shop and learn in a whole new way compared to just a few years ago, so marketers need to adapt or risk extinction. - Brian Halligan

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

Fall: The season when your wife buys new winter clothes so she will have something to wear when she goes out shopping for spring outfits - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, "What do you have in lingerie?" She says, "More than you'll ever have!" - Phyllis Diller

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


MAGA King

Baby Formula

When Gas Costs Too Much

Shoemobile

Salmon Street

Pandemic Treaty

People Of The River

SUV Sinkhole

Hope

Blonde's 710 Cover

Dragon Playground

Redneck Boat Ramp

Jack-A-Lope vs Jack-E-Lope

Urleen

Carry On or Carrion?

Selfie Pilot

Monarch Butterflies - Starting a Monarchy

Air Couch

Europe Road Trip

Thongthing Special

Nighttime Graffiti

Kid Suction

Redneck Moving Truck

Critter Control