#1 humor site on the 'net

Bourbon Shampoo

No, officer, I haven't been drinking...

Bourbon Shampoo thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo! - Steven Wright

Tailor Shop: Last of the big-time menders - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Inequality of knowledge is the key to a sale. - Neil O Gustafson

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A man without a smiling face should not open a shop. - Chinese Proverb

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

Malaria: Several shopping centers close to each other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Traditional methods of sales prospecting are grossly inefficient. - Jill Konrath

A good thing sells itself; a bad thing advertises itself for sale. - African Saying

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate. - Phyllis Diller

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

Bargain Sale: A place where a woman can ruin one dress while she buys another - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

Please don't come to my garage sale if you've ever let me borrow something. - Mike Spears

My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn't walk to the donut shop. - Bill Murray

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust. - Zig Ziglar

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse

To me, job titles don't matter. Everyone is in sales. It's the only way we stay in business. - Harvey Mackay

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Too often, sales reps simply regurgitate their presentations and expect to land the sale. It doesn't work. - Harvey Mackay

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera. - Unknown

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

People shop and learn in a whole new way compared to just a few years ago, so marketers need to adapt or risk extinction. - Brian Halligan

I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, "What do you have in lingerie?" She says, "More than you'll ever have!" - Phyllis Diller

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Turkey Popcorn Dressing

Redneck Outhouse Throne

I'll Be Right There

How Not To Prop Start Your Plane

Young Superman

When Not To Stop Too Fast

Bustache

CheckMate

Plane Oops!

Sand Dive

Manitoba Home Security System

WinDoor

Bungee Cord Suspenders

Mirror Solution

Beerbulance

Handicap Motorcyclist

Filling Up Is OverRated

Coin Stacking

I Miss Being A Tree

Stoned In The Garden

Looking For Something?

LadyNet

Louvre Paintings

Working From Home