Birthday Bonus

Bloods’ not thicker than money. - Groucho Marx

Money: the poor man's credit card. - Marshal McLuhan

A fool and her money are soon courted. - Helen Rowland

Money does not make you happy but it quiets the nerves. - Sean O Casey

I can't afford to die - I'd lose too much money. - George Burns

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards. - Oscar Wilde

I don't mind that I'm fat. You still get the same money. - Marlon Brando

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

A failure is a man who has blundered but is not able to cash in on the experience. - Elbert Hubbard

Men are like a deck of cards. You'll find the occasional king, but most are jacks. - Laura Swenson

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

People don't mind if you have a lot of money if they know you're working for it. - Jay Leno

If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to. - Alexander Pope

Money can't buy you happiness... but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan

Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money. - Jules Renard

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

Money itself doesn't interest me. But you must make money to go on building the business. - Rupert Murdoch

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

The cards you hold in the game of life mean very little - it's the way you play them that counts. - Unknown

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun. - Flip Wilson

Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. - Bill Vaughan

Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it. - Stephen Leacock

Anything which is physically possible can always be made financially possible; money is a bugaboo of small minds. - Robert A. Heinlein

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield