Birthday Bonus

God gave me my money. - John D. Rockefeller

He who marries for money earns it. - Hebrew Proverb

A fool and his money are soon elected. - Will Rogers

Yacht: a floating box you throw money into. - Unknown

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. - Groucho Marx

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back. - Steven Wright

Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells. - J Paul Getty

I don't mind that I'm fat. You still get the same money. - Marlon Brando

I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect. - Steven Wright

A billion here, a billion there - pretty soon it adds up to real money. - Everett Dirksen

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you you’re making too much money. - Robin Williams

Borrowed thoughts, like borrowed money, only show the poverty of the borrower. - Lady Marguerite Blessington

On my 85th birthday, I felt like a 20-year-old. But there wasn't one around. - Milton Berle

A failure is a man who has blundered but is not able to cash in on the experience. - Elbert Hubbard

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated. - Will Rogers

The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. - Kin Hubbard

Enthusiasm is the greatest asset in the world. It beats money and power and influence. - Henry Chester

Never work just for money or power. They won't save your soul or help you sleep at night. - Marian Wright Edelman

It is not the employer who pays wages; he only handles the money. It is the product that pays wages. - Henry Ford

Money frees you from doing things you dislike.
Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. - Groucho Marx

Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. - Bill Vaughan

Why does not the Pope build St. Peter's with his own money, rather than with the money of poor believers? - Martin Luther

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

The politicians in Washington are spending trillions of dollars of our money. When are Americans going to stand up and say enough is enough? - Joe Wurzelbacher

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump