#1 humor site on the 'net

Be Patient

The little car that could

Be Patient thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Genius is eternal patience. - Michelangelo

Life is too short for traffic. - Dan Bellack

Patience is a conquering virtue. - Geoffrey Chaucer

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Patience is the companion of wisdom. - St. Augustine

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

There are no traffic jams on the extra mile. - Zig Ziglar

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Our patience will achieve more than our force. - Edmund Burke

Patience is a vital trait of the great athlete. - Unknown

Have patience! In time, even grass becomes milk. - Charan Singh

Often a lack of energy is considered to be patience. - Kin Hubbard

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

With time and patience, the mulberry leaf becomes satin. - Chinese Proverb

Patience is the only way you can endure the gray periods. - Teri Hatcher

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains. - Dutch Proverb

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti

Sadness is more or less like a head cold - with patience, it passes. - Barbara Kingsolver

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Have patience and endure: this unhappiness will one day be beneficial. - Ovid

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

A moment of patience in a moment of anger saves you a hundred moments of regret. - Unknown

How poor are they who have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees. - William Shakespeare

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. - Franklin P. Adams

Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success. - Napoleon Hill

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead. - Mac McCleary

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Patience is not simply the ability to wait - it's how we behave while we're waiting. - Joyce Meyer

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow

Life on a farm is a school of patience. You can't hurry the crops or make an ox in two days. - Haneri Liogier

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence. - Hal Borland

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

Business is a sprint until you find an opportunity, then it's the patience of a marathon runner. - Robert Herjavec

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides. - Margaret Thatcher

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. - John Updike

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman


Sidewalk Malt Melt

Redneck Post Support

Indiana Jeans

First Performance

Puzzle Makers

Fishing Dog

Twins' First Piano Lesson

Black Sheep Friday

Black Friday Scam

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Aussie Gazpacho

Too Much Turkey

Best Friend Theft

Baconurkey

Biggest Turkeys

Turkey Day Selfie

Redneck Turkey Shoot

Grandma's Beautiful Pies

Going Cold Turkey

Run, Turkey, Run

Carving The Turkey

Thanksgiving Harvest Time

Turkey Wants You To Eat Pork

Nintendo Motor