#1 humor site on the 'net

Appease The Virus

What to do with politicians

Appease The Virus thanks to Keith Blake

The volcano might throw them back...

QuotaBills
All politics is local. - Thomas P O'Neil

Politics is an inexact science. - Otto von Bismarck

Lawyers are natural politicians. - Clarence Darrow

Good government is good politics. - Richard J. Daley

Politics makes strange red-fellows. - Will Rogers

Politics makes strange postmasters. - Kin Hubbard

Man is by nature a political animal. - Aristotle

In politics nothing is contemptible. - Benjamin Disraeli

Humanity is just a virus with shoes. - Bill Hicks

I am not a politician, but a soldier. - Idi Amin

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

IN GOD WE TRUST: All others we virus scan - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Everybody knows politics is a contact sport. - Barrack Obama

Intelligence has nothing to do with politics. - Londo Molari

Political correctness is tyranny with manners. - Charlton Heston

A politician... one that would circumvent God. - William Shakespeare

Politics is just show business for ugly people. - Jay Leno

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

Turn on to politics, or politics will turn on you. - Ralph Nader

Guns have only two enemies - rust and politicians. - Unknown

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

The Golden Rule has no place in a political campaign. - John J Ingalls

Politicians can't manage. All they can do is talk. - Donald Trump

There can be no wise politics without thought beforehand. - Annie Besant

Poetry is about the grief. Politics is about the grievance. - Robert Frost

Love is like a virus. It can happen to anybody at any time. - Maya Angelou

Dilemma: A politician trying to save both his faces at once - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

I don't go around signin' no political documentaries. - Archie Bunker

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity. - Albert Einstein

We live in a world in which politics has replaced philosophy. - Martin L. Gross

Politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. - Charles de Gaulle

We can't predict what a virus we've never seen will do. - Marc Lipsitch

History is a tool used by politicians to justify their intentions. - Ted Koppei

An honest politician is one who when he's bought stays bought. - Simon Cameron

The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr

The most important political office is that of the private citizen. - Louis D. Brandeis

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. - Will Rogers

An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought. - Simon Cameron

A politician will do anything to keep his job - even become a patriot. - William Randolph

Every woman dreams of her own political career and her own place in life. - Raisa M. Gorbachev

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

Idealism is the despot of thought, just as politics is the despot of will. - Mikhail Bakunin

Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation. - Henry Kissinger

I do have a political agenda. It's to have as few regulations as possible. - Dan Quayle

Ignorance is a virus. Once it starts spreading, it can only be cured by reason. - Neil Tyson

Being a politician is a poor profession. Being a public servant is a noble one. - Herbert C Hoover

A filmmaker we almost lost to politics... my friend and colleague, Warren Beatty. - Jack Nicholson

My sheer existence is like a political act to a lot of people. It's not to me. - Grimes

Personally, I'm against political jokes. Too often they get elected to office. - Henny Youngman

Idealism is the noble toga that political gentlemen drape over their will to power. - Aldous Huxley

The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election. - Earl Wilson

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. - Doug Larson

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers. - Nikita Khruschev

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. - John Quinton

When governments become large, voters cannot exercise close oversight, otherwise known as political power. - Maggie Gallagher

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

It is a win-win for the American people, an idea no conventional politician would have the guts to put forward. - Donald Trump

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I would gladly eat a network executive or a politician. - Marty Feldman

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

What politicians want to create is irreversible change because when you leave office someone changes it back again. - Estelle Morris

Politics is the only business where doing nothing other than making the other guy look bad is an acceptable outcome. - Mark Warner

In politics it is necessary either to betray one's country or the electorate. I prefer to betray the electorate. - Charles de Gaulle

One of the reasons people hate politics is that truth is rarely a politician's objective. Election and power are. - Cal Thomas

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians,
and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people. - Groucho Marx

What is politics but persuading the public to vote for this and support that and endure these for the promise of those? - Gilbert Highet

Calculating how much carbon is absorbed by which forests and farms is a tricky task, especially when politicians do it. - Donella Meadows

I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend. - Thomas Jefferson

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. - Groucho Marx

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

A party of order or stability, and a party of progress or reform, are both necessary elements of a healthy state of political life. - John Stuart Mill

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. - Ronald Reagan

Judge: 1. A law student who marks his own examination papers; 2. A lawyer who once knew a politician; 3. A man in a trying position. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader

In politics, as in womanizing, failure is decisive. It sheds its retrospective gloom on earlier endeavor which at the time seemed full of promise. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock

Political correctness is about denial, usually in the weasel circumlocutory jargon which distorts and evades and seldom stands up to honest analysis. - George M Fraser


Close Shave

Australian RV

Panorama Dog

Revenue Canada Subscription Cancellation

Why You Shouldn't Let Your Dog Drink Beer

Reflection

Plane Tennis

New IRS Form

Wisconsin Cheese

MAGA King

Baby Formula

When Gas Costs Too Much

Shoemobile

Salmon Street

Pandemic Treaty

People Of The River

SUV Sinkhole

Hope

Blonde's 710 Cover

Dragon Playground

Redneck Boat Ramp

Jack-A-Lope vs Jack-E-Lope

Urleen

Carry On or Carrion?