#1 humor site on the 'net

Adultery

according to the Crystal Meth Church

Adultery thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Sin is geographical. - Bertrand Russell

Man thinks and God laughs. - Yiddish Proverb

All of nature is God's art. - Dante

God is like a skilful Geometrician. - Sir Thomas Browne

Charity creates a multitude of sins. - Oscar Wilde

A man of courage is also full of faith. - Marcus Tullius Cicero

Directly after God in heaven comes a Papa. - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Holy Mackerel: Fish served at Church supper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A puff of wind and popular praise weigh the same. - English Proverb

Man discovers truth by reason only, not by faith. - Tolstoy

God cannot alter the past, though historians can. - Samuel Butler

Men are not punished for their sins, but by them. - Kin Hubbard

God is always on the side of the strongest battalion. - Voltaire

History is a vision of God's creation on the move. - Arnold J. Toynbee

Only our individual faith in freedom can keep us free. - Dwight D Eisenhower

Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, Faith looks up. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I drank the silence of God from a spring in the woods. - Georg Trakl

Droughts are because god didn't pay his water bill. - Steven Wright

Where God has his church, the Devil will have his chapel. - Spanish Proverb

What is faith unless it is to believe what you do not see? - St. Augustine

If you want to give God a good laugh, tell Him your plans. - Yiddish Proverb

Until we meet again, may God bless you as he has blessed me. - Elvis Presley

Sin is what you do when your heart is not satisfied with God. - John Piper

God never sent hunger without sending something to satisfy it. - Ireland Proverb

No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim. - Russian Proverb

Never pray to win, but to do your best - for God has no favorites. - Dorothy I. Welker

Praise follows truth afar off, and only overtakes her at the grave. - James R Lowell

We are saved by faith alone, but the faith that saves is never alone. - Martin Luther

You may forget that you are at every moment totally dependent on God. - C S Lewis

Troubles are often the tools by which God fashions us for better things. - Henry Ward Beecher

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

Whatever happens, abide steadfast in a determination to cling simply to God. - Francis de Sales

To sin offers repentance and forgiveness; not to sin offers only punishment. - Jose Bergamin

When God created the world, he didn't draw a line between Canada and America. - Marianne Williamson

Let evil swiftly befall those who have wrongly condemned us - God will avenge us. - Jacques de Molay

I am a story teller. If I wanted to send a message I would have written a sermon. - Phillip Pullman

Your talent is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God. - Leo Buscaglia

I do know the American gentleman, God forgive me for putting two such words together. - Charles Dickens

The God who speaks with utmost integrity must have messengers who represent him well. - Haddon W. Robinson

The greatest dream of all is to know God and to know what he has intended for your life. - Ravi Zacharias

When we cling too tightly to what God did last, we often miss what God wants to do next. - Mark Batterson

I don't work out. If God wanted us to bend over, he'd put diamonds on the floor. - Joan Rivers

Sex is the mysticism of materialism and the only possible religion in a materialistic society. - Malcolm Muggeridge

I clearly have done things that were wrong. I've clearly had to seek God's forgiveness. - Newt Gingrich

It is not your business to succeed, but to do right; when you have done so, the rest lies with God. - C S Lewis

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland

I love these little people; and it is not a slight thing when they, who are so fresh from God, love us. - Charles Dickens

If you really believe in the message you're preaching, you want as many people as possible to listen. - Mark Batterson

I always tole God, "I'm gwine to hole stiddy on you, an' you've got to see me through." - Harriet Tubman

Every happening, great and small, is a parable whereby God speaks to us, and the art of life is to get the message. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go. - Brooks Atkinson

It cost God nothing, so far as we know, to create nice things: but to convert rebellious wills cost him crucifixion. - C S Lewis

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

Hell's foundations quiver
At the shout of praise;
Brothers, lift your voices,
Loud your anthems raise. - Sabine Baring-Gould

One of our fundamental spiritual problems is this: we want God to do something new while we keep doing the same old thing. - Mark Batterson

Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passion. If you don't have questions, you'll never find answers. - Colleen Hoover

God proved His love on the Cross. When Christ hung, and bled, and died, it was God saying to the world, 'I love you.' - Billy Graham

If God forgives us we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise, it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than Him. - C S Lewis

There is a direct relationship between a person's grasp and experience of God's grace and his or her heart for justice. - Unknown

If you think that praise is due, now's the time to show it, 'cause a man can't read his tombstone when he's dead. - Unknown

Prayer and the Bible became a part of my everyday thoughts and beliefs. I learned to put my trust in God and to seek Him as my strength. - Rosa Parks

I ain't got no respect for no religion where the head guy claims he can't make no mistakes. Like he's, waddya call, inflammable. - Archie Bunker

Where God guides He provides. He is not responsible for expenses not on His schedule. He does not foot the bill when we leave His itinerary. - Vance Havner

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. - Reinhold Niebuhr

If a preacher is not first preaching to himself, better that he falls on the steps of the pulpit and breaks his neck than preaches that sermon. - John Calvin


Baseball Photobomb

Great Quotes (B)

Wayne's Fish

If You're Happy And You Know It

Deer Hunter Tattoo

Nope, Didn't See A Thing

Man Sues Wife Over Make-Up

Down Under Bronco Riding For Kids

Re-Ewes Me

It's A Keeper

Plankstanders

Millionaire Women

Laptop Cooler

Scan Scam

Motorcycle Taxi

I've Got Time

Clangeroo

Redneck Cooler

Instead Of Flowers

Mt. Rushmore from the Canadian Side

I Love Summer

Karma Towing

Salmon-chanted Evening

Hands On Tree