#1 humor site on the 'net

Wireless Doorbells Sitting On Their Chargers

Daring something to break the silence

Wireless Doorbells Sitting On Their Chargers thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill. - Henny Youngman

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? - James Thurber

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

Most of life's great moments happen when your phone is in your pocket. - Unknown

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

Mobile phones are the only subject on which men boast about who's got the smallest. - Neil Kinnock

No matter how big and bad you are, when a 2-year-old hand you a toy phone, you answer it. - Unknown

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia


World's Greatest Typo

Icehenge

Found It!

Puma Pants

Polar Bear Attack

Foot Sign Language

Winter Tires

Hooters Face Mask

Latte Art

Whiskey Toothpaste

Titanic's Non-Romantic Scene

Fake News

Steep Steps

Better Lawyer

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Snow Detour

No Time For This

Kwik-Mart Math

Croatian Landscaping

Best Fairy Tale

Back In Five Minutes

Winterized Motorcycle

If IKEA Ran GM

Six Hunnit