#1 humor site on the 'net

Water Saver

Genius bathroom recycling plans

Water Saver thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Keep a clean kitchen - dine out. - Unknown

A plumber's idea of Cleopatra. - WC Fields

Bacon is duct tape for the kitchen. - Unknown

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

Experts should be on tap but never on top. - Winston Churchill

I support recycling. I wore this yesterday. - Unknown

Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: eat out. - Phyllis Diller

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

He who would eat in Spain must bring his kitchen along. - German saying

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. - Harry S Truman

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

If I had my life to live over again, I’d be a plumber. - Albert Einstein

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday. - Woody Allen

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

I always had a fantasy of being a chef, because I like kitchen life. - Geoffrey Rush

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove. - Groucho Marx

Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. - Louis L'Amour

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. - Kin Hubbard

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel but not in the kitchen. - George Bernard Shaw

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. - Ambrose Bierce

Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

It's not plagiarism - I'm recycling words, as any good environmentally conscious writer would do. - Unlek Swain

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second. - Robert Frost

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle


Socialist Job

Graveyard Sundae

Portable Dog Carriers

No More Arguing

Transformers Garage

Soccer Ball Building

Country Office

Lord Of The Rinse

Introvert Soap

No Drowning

Window View

Vanishing Underwater Roller Coaster

Simple Surgery

Applelicious

Fried Eggs - Military Style

Tourist Baggage

Amish Sailboat

Aging Cyclist

Best Tea Cup

Shoddy Goaltending - Not

Roller Derby Princess

Redneck Hotter Tub

Walk The Line

Sidewalk Jammies