QuotaBillsI would have made a good Pope. - Richard M Nixon
Scotland is the Canada of England. - Rainn Wilson
What Britain needs is an iron lady. - Margaret Thatcher
England is a nation of shopkeepers. - Napoleon Bonaparte
It ain't exactly the Pope diamond. - Archie Bunker
I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West
The Pope, I hope, can only be scared by God. - Donald Trump
Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce
He was not only a bore; he bored for England. - Malcolm Muggeridge
Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker
English Wrestling Champion: A lord of the ring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Women in London must have learned not to breathe. - Irene Trimble
Some guys play hockey. Gretzky plays 40-mph chess. - Lowell Cohn
England can never be ruined except by a Parliament. - Lord Burleigh
The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese
I failed to make the chess team because of my height. - Woody Allen
Britain's goal is not to survive, but to prevail. - Winston Churchill
He speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual too. - Don King
This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
Germlish: Training done using a mixture of English & German - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. - Douglas Jerrold
The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron
What Great Britain calls the Far East is to us the near north. - Robert Gordon Menzies
If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed
Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett
All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe
For me, baseball is more comparable to chess than it is to hockey. - Jeff Garlin
In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce. - Francesco Caracciolo
In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown
England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw
England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet
You'd play me chess, about which I don't even know how to deal. - Archie Bunker
I have great respect for the Pope. I like the Pope. I actually like him. - Donald Trump
When it's three o'clock in New York, it's still 1938 in London. - Bette Midler
It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen. - Dolly Parton
I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. - George Best
Civilization - a heap of rubble scavenged by scrawny English Lit. vultures. - Malcolm Muggeridge
There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate
I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov
Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne
Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead
The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker
It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window. - Raymond Chandler
Humour is practically the only thing about which the English are utterly serious. - Malcolm Muggeridge
The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers
On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes
There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne
"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it. - George Carlin
Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer
The noblest prospect which a Scotsman ever sees is the high road that leads him to England. - Samuel Johnson
I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery
A broken heart is a very pleasant complaint for a man in London if he has a comfortable income. - George Bernard Shaw
Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown
I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan
The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. - Oscar Wilde
Human affairs are like a chess game: Only those who do not take it seriously can be called good players. - Hung Tzu-ch'eng
Reporter: "How many people work at the Vatican?"
Pope John XXIII: "About half." - Pope John XXIII
Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton
Why does not the Pope build St. Peter's with his own money, rather than with the money of poor believers? - Martin Luther
No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker
Every street in London has a camera, and if you ever travel up the M4, it feels as if George Orwell should be your chauffeur. - Don McCullin
The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan
It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan
In England people actually try to be brilliant at breakfast. That is so dreadful of them! Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. - Oscar Wilde
The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin
Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin