Vatican Chess

I would have made a good Pope. - Richard M Nixon

Scotland is the Canada of England. - Rainn Wilson

What Britain needs is an iron lady. - Margaret Thatcher

England is a nation of shopkeepers. - Napoleon Bonaparte

It ain't exactly the Pope diamond. - Archie Bunker

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

The Pope, I hope, can only be scared by God. - Donald Trump

Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce

He was not only a bore; he bored for England. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

English Wrestling Champion: A lord of the ring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Women in London must have learned not to breathe. - Irene Trimble

Some guys play hockey. Gretzky plays 40-mph chess. - Lowell Cohn

England can never be ruined except by a Parliament. - Lord Burleigh

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

I failed to make the chess team because of my height. - Woody Allen

Britain's goal is not to survive, but to prevail. - Winston Churchill

He speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual too. - Don King

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

Germlish: Training done using a mixture of English & German - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. - Douglas Jerrold

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

What Great Britain calls the Far East is to us the near north. - Robert Gordon Menzies

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

For me, baseball is more comparable to chess than it is to hockey. - Jeff Garlin

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce. - Francesco Caracciolo

In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet

You'd play me chess, about which I don't even know how to deal. - Archie Bunker

I have great respect for the Pope. I like the Pope. I actually like him. - Donald Trump

When it's three o'clock in New York, it's still 1938 in London. - Bette Midler

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen. - Dolly Parton

I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. - George Best

Civilization - a heap of rubble scavenged by scrawny English Lit. vultures. - Malcolm Muggeridge

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window. - Raymond Chandler

Humour is practically the only thing about which the English are utterly serious. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it. - George Carlin

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

The noblest prospect which a Scotsman ever sees is the high road that leads him to England. - Samuel Johnson

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

A broken heart is a very pleasant complaint for a man in London if he has a comfortable income. - George Bernard Shaw

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. - Oscar Wilde

Human affairs are like a chess game: Only those who do not take it seriously can be called good players. - Hung Tzu-ch'eng

Reporter: "How many people work at the Vatican?"
Pope John XXIII: "About half." - Pope John XXIII

Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton

Why does not the Pope build St. Peter's with his own money, rather than with the money of poor believers? - Martin Luther

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

Every street in London has a camera, and if you ever travel up the M4, it feels as if George Orwell should be your chauffeur. - Don McCullin

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

In England people actually try to be brilliant at breakfast. That is so dreadful of them! Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. - Oscar Wilde

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin