Vatican Chess

I would have made a good Pope. - Richard M Nixon

Scotland is the Canada of England. - Rainn Wilson

England is a nation of shopkeepers. - Napoleon Bonaparte

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

The Pope, I hope, can only be scared by God. - Donald Trump

Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce

He was not only a bore; he bored for England. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

I think Queen Elizabeth II is a charming woman. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Some guys play hockey. Gretzky plays 40-mph chess. - Lowell Cohn

England can never be ruined except by a Parliament. - Lord Burleigh

I failed to make the chess team because of my height. - Woody Allen

He speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual too. - Don King

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

Germlish: Training done using a mixture of English & German - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Irene Lorenzo, queen of the Women's Lubrication Movement. - Archie Bunker

The monarchical institution in England is immensely valuable. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer. - Hal Roach

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. - Queen Elizabeth I

Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki. - Nigel Starmer-Smith

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

For me, baseball is more comparable to chess than it is to hockey. - Jeff Garlin

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce. - Francesco Caracciolo

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

Britain's most useful role is somewhere between bee and dinosaur. - Harold MacMillan

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. - Oscar Wilde

England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet

I have great respect for the Pope. I like the Pope. I actually like him. - Donald Trump

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen. - Dolly Parton

Civilization - a heap of rubble scavenged by scrawny English Lit. vultures. - Malcolm Muggeridge

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

The people of England are never so happy as when you tell them they are ruined. - Arthur Murphy

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window. - Raymond Chandler

Humour is practically the only thing about which the English are utterly serious. - Malcolm Muggeridge

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

You know what's got the world in the shape today? Buddah, the Pope, Marx and Lemons. - Archie Bunker

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

The noblest prospect which a Scotsman ever sees is the high road that leads him to England. - Samuel Johnson

A broken heart is a very pleasant complaint for a man in London if he has a comfortable income. - George Bernard Shaw

Diatribe: 1. An extinct race; 2. The group of native Brits that worship the late Princess Diana. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Oats: A grain, which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland supports the people - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. - Oscar Wilde

Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton

In America, the policeman is a working-class hero. In England, the policeman is a working-class traitor. - Martin Amis

Why does not the Pope build St. Peter's with his own money, rather than with the money of poor believers? - Martin Luther

Larry Gogan: 'With what town in Britain is Shakespeare associated?'
Contestant: 'Hamlet'. - Larry Gogan

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

If it is good to have one foot in England, it is still better, or at least as good, to have the other out of it. - Henry James

I welcome him like I welcome cold sores. He's from England, he's angry, and he's got Mad Power Disease. - Paula Abdul

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

My idea is to make moves to bring chess back to the world's map, to make it part of the world's geography again. - Anatoly Karpov

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

'Good English' is whatever educated people talk; so that what is good in one place or time would not be so in another. - C S Lewis

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

I think what's going on with gorillas is pretty bad. The fact is that you can buy gorilla meat in London any day you want it. - Adam Ant

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

In England people actually try to be brilliant at breakfast. That is so dreadful of them! Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. - Oscar Wilde

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin