#1 humor site on the 'net

Truck Load

The last of its heavy loads

Truck Load thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
I paid too heavy a price for perestroika. - Mikhail Gorbachev

I pay very heavy semi-annual premiums 4 times a year. - Archie Bunker

Dropped the heavy lid of the terlet right on my instoop. - Archie Bunker

I do not pray for a lighter load, but for a stronger back. - Philip Brookes

As your runway of life gets shorter, the lighter the load. - Joe Segal

You think I just drove in from Long Island on a load of turnips? - Archie Bunker

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

Sandwich every bit of criticism between two heavy layers of praise. - Mary Kay Ash

A real New Yorker likes the sound of a garbage truck in the morning. - R.L. Stine

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck. - Jackie Mason

He really is terribly heavy going. Like running up hill in roller skates. - Alan Ayckbourn

It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it. - Lou Holtz

I see religion more as a truck stop on your way to figuring out who you are. - Brad Pitt

Come unto me, all ye who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. - Matthew 11:28

Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken. - Warren Buffet

The chain of wedlock is so heavy that it takes two to carry it, sometimes three. - Alexandre Dumas

I don't consider myself a heavy drinker, I often go hours without touching a drop. - Noel Coward

When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley

You'll never have any mental muscle if you don't have any heavy stuff to pick up. - Diane Lane

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

Authority without wisdom is like a heavy axe without an edge, fitter to bruise than to polish. - Anne Bradstreet

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

Ghosts have a way of misleading you; they can make your thoughts as heavy as branches after a storm. - Rebecca Maizel

I do know what my first meal in the next world would be: Spaghetti Aglio e Olio, heavy on everything. - Rachael Ray

Everything's challenging for me, singing-wise. I'm like an old truck with one gear left on it. - Michael McDonald

A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell. - WC Fields

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

What sounds to you like a big load of trashy noise... is in fact... the brilliant music of a genius... myself. - Iggy Pop

They should have little disclaimer that says, "Do not operate heavy machinery while watching this show!" - Robin Williams

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

She ran after the garbage truck yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!" - Red Skelton


Fishing Dog

Real Waterbed

Enjoy The Moment

Dead Hand

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

A Dog's Seeing Eye Dog

Stop The Pipeline

Fake Brakes

Business In Front, Party In Back

Co-Pilot Seat

Beard Fashion

Canadian Parking

Car Wrecker

Redneck Faucet

Feather Cleaning

Ice Hockey Meltdown

Tough Love

Easter Island

Flood Bridge

Don't Count On It

Upended Water Buffalo

Face Heater

Leap Year Shirt

World's Greatest Typo