#1 humor site on the 'net

Time Of Day

Are You 3 of the Seven Dwarfs?

Time Of Day thanks to Chris Kane

Seven Dwarfs in the 1937 animated Disney film: Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy, Dopey, Doc

QuotaBills
Three happy words: Paid in Full - Joe-kster

Why limit Happy to just one hour? - Unknown

An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

I ain't in a happy frame of mood. - Archie Bunker

In actual life I am a grumpy old bag. - Dawn French

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

Who the hell wants to be happy all the time? - Christopher Plummer

A happy heart comes first, then the happy face. - Shania Twain

Where talent is a dwarf, self-esteem is a giant. - Jean Petit-Senn

e looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave. - Sid Waddell

The best way to make children is to make them happy. - Oscar Wilde

Alimony: the ransom that the happy pay to the devil. - H L Mencken

To be happy, we must not be too concerned with others. - Albert Camus

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

Money does not make you happy but it quiets the nerves. - Sean O Casey

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

My wife and I were happy for twenty years... then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield

We are no longer happy, so soon as we wish to be happier. - Walter Savage Landor

They are happy men whose natures sort with their vocations. - Francis Bacon

You do your best work if you do a job that makes you happy. - Bob Ross

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

There is no duty so much underrated as the duty of being happy. - Robert Louis Stevenson

To be happy in the home is the ultimate result of all ambition. - Samuel Johnson

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. - Abraham Lincoln

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy teenagers? - Unknown

Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead. - Scottish Proverb

How much money does it take to make a man happy? Just one more dollar. - John D. Rockefeller

You can never get enough of what you don't need to make you happy. - Eric Hoffer

If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time. - Edith Wharton

My heart is happy, my mind is free.
I had a father who talked with me. - Hilde Bigelow

Think of all the beauty that's still left in and around you and be happy! - Anne Frank

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

I am kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. - J.D. Salinger

It's better to be a dwarf amongst the giants, than a giant among the dwarfs. - Likh Hoon

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

Until you are happy with who you are, you will never be happy with what you have. - Zig Ziglar

Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy. - Unknown

If you're not failing now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe. - Woody Allen

Change is an easy panacea. It takes character to stay in one place and be happy there. - Elizabeth Clarke Dunn

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I had a very happy childhood, which is unsuitable if you're going to be an Irish writer. - Maeve Binchy

The Seven Dwarfs of Menopause: Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful and Psycho. - Unknown

It isn't necessary to be rich and famous to be happy. It's only necessary to be rich. - Alan Alda

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? - Laurence J. Peter

Very little is needed to make a happy life. It is all within yourself in your way of thinking. - Marcus Aurelius

When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age. - Victor Hugo

If the sign on your heart says, "WELCOME", the love will come pouring in from everywhere. - Susan Jeffers

If I feel unhappy, I do mathematics to become happy. If I am happy, I do mathematics to keep happy. - Alfred Renyi

Respect yourself to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy. - Unknown

That state of life is most happy where superfluities are not required and necessities are not wanting. - Plutarch

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

Among giants, try and be a dwarf; among dwarfs, try and be a giant; but among equals, try and be an equal. - Stanislaw Lee

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

May you be filled with loving kindness. May you be well. May you be peaceful and at ease. May you be happy. - Unknown

Freedom is like drink. If you take any at all, you might as well take enough to make you happy for a while. - Finley P Dunne

Don't waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window - or break down a door. - Brooke Shields

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

A happy home is one in which each spouse grants the possibility that the other may be right, though neither believes it. - Don Fraser

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right? - Charles Schulz

They say it is better to be poor and happy than rich and miserable, but how about a compromise like moderately rich and just moody? - Princess Diana

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

I'd like to get something together - like a Handel, Bach, Muddy Waters, flamenco-type of thing. If I could get that sound, I'd be happy. - Jimi Hendrix

You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life. - Albert Camus

I'm going to make people happy. I'm going to make them forget about their cancer. I'm going to make them forget about their diabetes. - Dick Dale


Snow Wall

Cold One

Baby Chat

Window Cleaning On The Edge

Father Time Snowman

Back Pain

No Extras Massage

Gooooooooooogle Air

Hot Tub Hangups

Scenery Cut and Paste

Origin of the Whoopee Cushion

Better With A Beard

Canadian Winter Smile

Monkey Morning

Snow Geese

Walk The Line

Darth Vader Cool

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Cutting Edge Table

Wine Signs

Ring Seating

Snow Aerobics

25 Toes

Wedding Cake Dress