#1 humor site on the 'net

That's A Wrap

How Mexican babies are kept warm

That's A Wrap thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Nipper: Baby crab - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hasta la vista, baby. - Terminator 2: Judgement Day

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Newborn Baby: Fresh heir - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

Unclaimed Baby Sheep: No man's lamb - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

American cheese is the perfect soft taco. - Wylie Dufresne

In Mexico we have a word for sushi: Bait. - Jose Simon

A baby's laugh is an angel's voice. - Unknown

Dapper Diaper: Well-dressed baby underwear. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Titillate: A tardy meal for a breast-fed baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Howling Success: The baby that gets picked up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

Wiener: The first to cross the line in a Mexican horse race - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

Baby I paint the sky blue
My greatest creation was you. - Jay-Z

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

Baby Boomer: A kid who just polished off six jars of raspberry jam - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood. - Salma Hayek

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

Motherhood: Feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties. - Unknown

Mexico: where life is cheap, death is rich, and the buzzards are never unhappy. - Edward Abbey

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

If not for me being stoned and clinging to a taco, it would have been terribly romantic. - Richelle Mead

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

I want the pilot flying me up in the air at 30,000 feet to make more than a guy working at Taco Bell. - Michael Moore

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

Sensitive love letters are my specialty: "Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You. P.S. I'm gay." - Homer Simpson


Bland Entrance

Cruising Advice

Cat Dugout

Open Drive Through

Secret Revealed

Tired Flagpole

Bent Car Sculpture

Cow Jacket

Thanks For Noticing

Overflow Truck Garden

Beach Sign Training

Encouraging Seal

GMC Pool

Nature Calls

You're Home Early

New Nail Gun

Long Noodles

EMS Upgrade

No Pot Of Gold

Graduation Swag

Monkeypox

Pre-Dinner Photography

Curses, Foiled Again

Ant Virus