Religious Nuts

Faith is under the left nipple. - Martin Luther

Prayer - the last refuge of a scoundrel. - Homer Simpson

Cantaloupe: Got to get married in Church - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A politician... one that would circumvent God. - William Shakespeare

God created the flirt as soon as He made the fool. - Victor Hugo

Some Catlick priest sprinkling incest over everyone. - Archie Bunker

The atheist religion don't believe in the bible. - Archie Bunker

I once dieted so religiously I quit eating in Church. - Zig Ziglar

The Bible tells us to forgive our enemies, not our friends. - Margot Asquith

Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is? - Frank Scully

I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created. - Donald Trump

Praise is rebuke to the man whose conscience alloweth it not. - Martin F Tupper

I can't believe that God put us on this earth to be ordinary. - Lou Holtz

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce. - Francesco Caracciolo

Prayer is when you talk to God; meditation is when you listen to God. - Diana Robinson

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

God gave me a gift to do other things besides play the game of basketball. - LeBron James

I deepen my experience of God through prayer, meditation, and forgiveness. - Marianne Williamson

Praise is a powerful people-builder. Catch individuals doing something right. - Brian Tracy

I read the book of Job last night. I don't think God comes out well in it. - Virginia Woolf

If Jesus were living in our culture, he would probably hang out in coffeehouses. - Mark Batterson

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. - Dorothy Parker

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to. - Alexander Pope

On behalf of every man looking out for every girl, you are the God and weight of her world. - John Mayer

When you focus on being a blessing, God makes sure that you are always blessed in abundance. - Joel Osteen

It is safe to tell the pure in heart that they shall see God, for only the pure in heart want to. - C S Lewis

God is not a genie in a bottle, and your wish is not His command. His command better be your wish. - Mark Batterson

Hope is some extraordinary spiritual grace that God gives us to control our fears, not to oust them. - Vincent McNabb

As Man alone, Jesus could not have saved us; As God alone, He would not; Made flesh, He could and did. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Faith is not the belief that God will do what you want. It is the belief that God will do what is right. - Max Lucado

God loves us too much to leave us alone to contend with the pain, guilt and loneliness of our present life. - Josh McDowell

The past is a source of knowledge, and the future is a source of hope. Love of the past implies faith in the future. - Stephen Ambrose

The antidote to frustration is a calm faith, not in your own cleverness, or in hard toil, but in God's guidance. - Norman Vincent Peale

It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him. - Abraham Lincoln

The Muslim Prophet Mohammed was a big believer in charity and firmly established helping those in need as a basis of the religion. - Richard Engel

Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself. Do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it. - Bruce Lee

Praise or blame has but a momentary effect on the man whose love of beauty in the abstract makes him a severe critic on his own works. - John Keats

The chief ingredients in the composition of those qualities that gain esteem and praise, are good nature, truth, good sense, and good breeding. - Joseph Addison

Charity may be a very short word, but with its tremendous meaning of pure love, it sums up man's entire relation to God and to his neighbor. - Aelred of Rievaulx