Playground Child Eliminator

I like children - fried. - WC Fields

Adults are just outdated children. - Dr. Seuss

Inspiration and genius - one and the same. - Victor Hugo

It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare

Good habits formed at youth make all the difference. - Aristotle

The man who has a full set of tools has no children. - Unknown

The fountain of youth is a mixture of gin and vermouth. - Cole Porter

What you teach your children, you also teach their children. - Unknown

A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to. - Robert Brault

Mick Jagger could French-kiss a moose. He has child-bearing lips. - Joan Rivers

I have very good executives and great children. They're very good. - Donald Trump

Women should not have children after 35. Really? 35 children is enough. - Bill Murray

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

It is spring again. The earth is like a child that knows poems by heart. - Rainer M. Rilke

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them. - Rita Rudner

Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age. - William Feather

I'm pretty intentional about being highly invested in my kids' lives. - Mark Batterson

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

Nature reserves the right to inflict upon her children the most terrifying jests. - Thornton Wilder

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. - Franklin P. Adams

Sometimes I wish I had a terrible childhood, so that at least I'd have an excuse. - Jimmy Fallon

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate. - Nancy Astor

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth... think of algebra. - Will Rogers

I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps. - Jimmy Kimmel

Sorrow makes us all children again - destroys all differences of intellect. The wisest know nothing. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A man who gives his children habits of industry provides for them better than by giving them a fortune. - Richard Whately

I look back on my childhood and thank the stars above. For everything you gave me, but mostly for your love. - Wayne F Winters

Inspiration comes unawares, from unaccountable sources that have nothing to do with planning or intelligence. - Maurice Chevalier

In neighborhoods without a usable park or playground, the incidence of childhood obesity increases by 29 percent. - Darell Hammond

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

He adopted a role called being a father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a protector. - Tom Wolfe

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone

I was forced to live far beyond my years when just a child, now I have reversed the order and I intend to remain young indefinitely. - Mary Pickford

I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. - Agatha Trunchbull

To win back my youth... There is nothing I wouldn't do - except take exercise, get up early, or be a useful member of the community. - Oscar Wilde

Not one of them who took up in his youth with his opinion that there are no gods ever continued until old age faithful to his conviction. - Plato

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer