Playground Child Eliminator

Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Keep true to the dreams of your youth. - Friedrich Schiller

Eat: What kids do between meals, but not at them - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

You see much more of your children once they leave home. - Lucille Ball

A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to. - Robert Brault

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

As long as you know men are like children, you know everything. - Coco Chanel

There is never a problem child; there is only a problem parent. - A.S. Neill

Top Bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. - Dave Barry

The unassuming youth seeking instruction with humility gains good fortune. - Joseph Addison

Apple: Nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chid: A young person who does not wish to be referred to as a child or a kid - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

Yoga is the fountain of youth. You're only as young as your spine is flexible. - Bob Harper

The affection you get back from children is sixpence given as change for a sovereign. - Edith Nesbit

Sometimes I wish I had a terrible childhood, so that at least I'd have an excuse. - Jimmy Fallon

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen

Setting a good example for your children does nothing but increase their embarrassment. - Doug Larson

If you're going to write a book on how to raise children, do it before you have them. - Bob McLaren

Because: Mom's reason for having kids do things which can't be explained logically - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

People always ask me, "Were you funny as a child?" Well, no, I was an accountant. - Ellen DeGeneres

Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you. - H. Jackson Brown

Don't worry that your children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. - Robert Fulghum

Children aren't happy without something to ignore, and that's what parents were created for. - Ogden Nash

Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall. A mother's secret hope outlives them all. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Animals are like little children a bit. They're simple. They don't have politics driving them. - Annabelle Sabloff

Our children may learn about heroes of the past. Our task is to make ourselves architects of the future. - Jomo Mzee Kenyatta

Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. - Socrates

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to. - Bill Vaughan

Children raced outside. She surveyed their trail - traces of sticky fingerprints across everything, like wee poems. - Dr. SunWolf

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. - Plato

Spare the rod and spoil the child - that is true. But, beside the rod, keep an apple to give him when he has done well. - Martin Luther

Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul, the blueprints of your ultimate achievements. - Napoleon Hill

It takes someone really brave to be a mother, someone strong to raise a child, and someone special to love someone more than herself. - Unknown

Everything here is edible; even I'm edible. But that, dear children, is cannibalism, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. - Johnny Depp

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah