Pets Come First

Man is by nature a political animal. - Aristotle

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

Watchdog: Animal that keeps the best time - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to. - Mark Twain

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

Animals are like people because people are animals. - Barbara T Gates

My music is best understood by children and animals. - Igor Stravinsky

Somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors. - George Bernard Shaw

Animals are my friends... and I don't eat my friends. - George Bernard Shaw

Contempt for animal life leads to contempt for human life. - Edward Abbey

For an animal person, an animal-less home is no home at all. - Cleveland Amory

All animals are minor variations on a very particular theme. - Richard Dawkins

He who does not mind his belly, will hardly mind anything else. - Samuel Johnson

I never act. I simply bring out the real animal that's in me. - Willem Dafoe

My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton

Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling. - Andre Gide

The belly is the reason why man does not so readily take himself for a god. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

There's a good animal show on with that kindly old gent, Marlons Perkos. - Archie Bunker

Some people talk to animals. Not many listen though. That's the problem. - A A Milne

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin

The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock

Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms. - George Eliot

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

I love sushi. But after too much of it, it just starts to taste like a dead animal that hasn't been cooked. - Amy Lee

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians. - Henrik Ibsen

Mule: 1. An animal that is stubbornly backward about going forward; 2. An animal who boasts that his ancestors were horses. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Edgy is fine - I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination - but what's wrong with a good ol' belly laugh? - Carol Burnett

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied with bad ones. - Bertrand Russell

Animals, in their generation, are wiser than the sons of men; but their wisdom is confined to a few particulars, and lies in a very narrow compass. - Joseph Addison