Pets Come First

Good doctors make poor patients. - Unknown

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? - George Carlin

The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

I went to a massage parlor. It was self service. - Rodney Dangerfield

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

The only meat I eat is from animals I've killed myself. - Mark Zuckerberg

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

I never act. I simply bring out the real animal that's in me. - Willem Dafoe

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. - George Carlin

Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling. - Andre Gide

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

The belly is the reason why man does not so readily take himself for a god. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

There's a good animal show on with that kindly old gent, Marlons Perkos. - Archie Bunker

I'm definitely an animal lover, and I stand up for all animals' rights. - Laura Mennell

The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms. - George Eliot

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

Moose: An animal that has a head and horns on one end and a living room wall on the other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A racehorse is an animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time. - Marjorie Johnson

Without my pets, my wallet would be full, my house would be clean, but my heart would be empty. - Unknown

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

I like cookies, any cookie you put in front of me - animal cookies, sugar cookies, anything crunchy. - Maria Shriver

There are some things in life where it's better to receive than to give, and massage is one of them. - Al Michaels

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

I love sushi. But after too much of it, it just starts to taste like a dead animal that hasn't been cooked. - Amy Lee

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians. - Henrik Ibsen

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied with bad ones. - Bertrand Russell

God gave unto the Animals
A wisdom past our power to see:
Each knows innately how to live,
Which we must learn laboriously. - Margaret Atwood

Ever occur to you why some of us can be this much concerned with animals suffering? Because government is not. Why not? Animals don't vote. - Paul Harvey