Pets Come First

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Camelot: Parking area for humped animals - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young. - Unknown

Having an animal in your life makes you a better human. - Rachel Ray

Animals are my friends... and I don't eat my friends. - George Bernard Shaw

Mouse: An animal which strews its path with fainting women. - Ambrose Bierce

Hamster: The animal least likely to be found in a synagogue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

For an animal person, an animal-less home is no home at all. - Cleveland Amory

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

He who does not mind his belly, will hardly mind anything else. - Samuel Johnson

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Moose: An animal that has a head and horns on one end and a living room wall on the other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

Men are the only animals that devote themselves, day in and day out, to making one another unhappy. - H L Mencken

I was readin' an article about the animal population - there's millions of pets explodin'. - Archie Bunker

There are some things in life where it's better to receive than to give, and massage is one of them. - Al Michaels

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

I think I could turn and live with animals, they are so placid and self-contained. I stand and look at them long and long. - Walt Whitman

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Man is the only animal who enjoys the consolation of believing in a next life; all other animals enjoy the consolation of not worrying about it. - Robert Brault

Animals are like little angels sent to earth to teach us how to love. They don't get angry or play silly games. They are always there for us. - Whitney Mandel