#1 humor site on the 'net

NYPD CPR

Love it when it snows in New York

NYPD CPR thanks to Roy Taylor

QuotaBills
Police do not belong in war zones. - Daniel K Moran

New York, the nation's thyroid gland. - Christopher Morley

Behind every great fortune there is a crime. - Honore de Balzac

Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime. - G. Gordon Liddy

The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

The world's second-most crime is boredom; the first is being a bore. - Cecil Beaton

When some folks agree with my opinions I begin to suspect I'm wrong. - Kin Hubbard

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

I'm out there everyday amongst them, in the smelting pot of New York. - Archie Bunker

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov

Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does. - Groucho Marx

Matt would be fantastic for New York if the Jets were lucky enough to get him. - Donald Trump

The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram

Outside of the killings, D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. - Marion Barry

It's a proven fact that capital punishment is a well-known detergent to crime. - Archie Bunker

Let's commit the perfect crime. I'll steal your heart, and you steal mine. - Meryl Streep

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

They laughed at Robert Fulton but without him, New York wouldn't have a fish market. - Archie Bunker

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

The police feel that most of the public are against them and that there is a lot of bad feeling. - Peter James

A police force, wherever they are, is made up of amazing people, and I respect them a great deal. - Nancy McKeon

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business. - Will Rogers

Many commit the same crime with very different results. One bears a cross for his crime, the other a crown. - Juvenal

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

A benefit of any job is laughter. It should never be a crime to have fun on the job. It may be a crime not to. - Terry Paulson

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up. - Jay Leno

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

At the end of a marathon, it's going to hurt whether you're speeding up or slowing down. You may as well push. - Summer Sanders

I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown

The starting line of the New York Marathon is like a giant time bomb behind you about to go off. It is the most spectacular start in sport. - Bill Rodgers

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff

One of the fondest expressions around is that we can't be the world's policeman. But guess who gets called when suddenly someone needs a cop. - Colin Powell

When I walk down the street in New York, the building constructor, the guy pounding cement and what not, will yell, "Hey, you hockey puck!" - Don Rickles

In New York, everybody looks great and is well dressed, but seeing someone in Ohio wearing Marc Jacobs is like spotting an owl in Central Park. Rare. - Isabel Gillies

There must be some honest lawyers at the New York bar, and some impartial judges on the New York bench, but I should not like to be set to find them. - Lyman Abbott


Someone Is Upset

Turkey Popcorn Dressing

Redneck Outhouse Throne

I'll Be Right There

How Not To Prop Start Your Plane

Young Superman

When Not To Stop Too Fast

Bustache

CheckMate

Plane Oops!

Sand Dive

Manitoba Home Security System

WinDoor

Bungee Cord Suspenders

Mirror Solution

Beerbulance

Handicap Motorcyclist

Filling Up Is OverRated

Coin Stacking

I Miss Being A Tree

Stoned In The Garden

Looking For Something?

LadyNet

Louvre Paintings