#1 humor site on the 'net

Noah Called

Feeling rained out lately?

Noah Called thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Into the sky to win or die. - Christopher Paolini

The sky already fell. Now what? - Steven Wright

I fell of my pink cloud with a thud. - Elizabeth Taylor

Knock on the sky and listen to the sound. - Zen Saying

You bring your own weather to the picnic. - Harlan Coben

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

By perseverance the snail reached the ark. - Charles H Spurgeon

A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition. - William Ward

Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get. - Mark Twain

An end is in sight to the severe weather shortage. - Ian Macaskill

There is no friend like a sister, in calm or stormy weather. - Christina Rossetti

Baby I paint the sky blue
My greatest creation was you. - Jay-Z

Always plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark. - Richard Cushing

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. - Mark Twain

Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it's a beautiful day. - Unknown

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

It is only in sorrow bad weather masters us; in joy we face the storm and defy it. - Amelia Barr

I don't make plans, because life is short and unpredictable - much like the weather. - Al Roker

Let's get an extended weather forecast from a jittery, inconsistent, reddish brown rodent. - Unknown

I have to dream and reach for the stars, and if I miss a star then I grab a handful of clouds. - Mike Tyson

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

Start a huge, foolish project like Noah. It makes absolutely no difference what people think of you. - Rumi

Caesar dreamed that he was flying above the clouds, and now that he was clasping the hand of Jupiter. - Suetonius

The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded. - Steven Wright

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly. I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky. - Unknown

The visions are fragmented and a dark cloud spreads like spilt ink across the pages of possible futures. - Garth Nix

Be careful not to complain about anything, even the weather, since I am the Author of your circumstances. - Sarah Young

There are a zillion variables to a hamburger. What part of the animal went into it. What coarseness. What temperature. - Danny Meyer

The practical importance of the preservation of our forests is augmented by their relations to climate, soil and streams. - John Muir

The long, dull, monotonous years of middle-aged prosperity or middle-aged adversity are excellent campaigning weather for the devil. - C S Lewis

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

Men may change their climate, but they cannot change their nature. A man that goes out a fool cannot ride or sail himself into common sense. - Joseph Addison

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky. - Hafez

The spirit is smothered, as it were, by ignorance, but so soon as ignorance is destroyed, spirit shines forth, like the sun when released from clouds. - Sankara


Closing Time

Wine Glass Lanyard

Awning Truck Advertising

Plugged In

Org Chart - Simplified Version

Extreme Value

Instant Acrophobia

How To Hire Engineers

Business School Basics

Waterwheel Rotisserie

Elephant Bus

Promote Yourself

Time Machine

Redneck Engagement Ring

Forever Clean Toilet

Edible Clock

Up-Set & Hungry Trucks

Bear Pinata

Swim Vacation

What Are Your Skills?

Portable Barber Shop

Snail Trail

Anger Release Machine

Pun-e Signs