#1 humor site on the 'net

Morning Memory

Looking for a morning perk-me-up?

Morning Memory thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Turkish Bath: A pool room - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Has Beans: Used coffee grounds - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

How I feel when there is no coffee? DEPRESSO - Unknown

Coffee,chocolate, men. The richer the better! - Unknown

Every man's memory is his private literature. - Aldous Huxley

He who laughs not in the morning, laughs not at noon. - Greek Proverb

The childhood shows the man, as morning shows the day. - John Milton

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - Steven Wright

No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar. - Abraham Lincoln

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move. - Phyllis Diller

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos

It's great to get up in the morning, but nicer to lie in bed. - Unknown

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film. - Steven Wright

You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning. - Founder's Breakfast Stout

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Gratitude is when memory is stored in the heart and not in the mind. - Lionel Hampton

One must have a good memory to be able to keep the promises one makes. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan

Where beams of imagination play,
The memory's soft figures melt away. - Alexander Pope

Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Eat in the evening. Sleep in the night. - William Blake

He is indebted to his memory for his jests and to his imagination for his facts. - Richard Brinsley Sheridan

It's the Olympics. If you can't get up to swim early in the morning, don't go. - Michael Phelps

He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is. - Lou Duva

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

I have a feeling there's a correlation between getting up in the morning and getting up in the world. - Milton Berle

It's been a tough week. I bought myself a memory foam mattress and now it's trying to blackmail me. - Gary Delaney

I'm taking memory power boost tablets to help me every day and doing the puzzles to help me stay focused. - Terry Bradshaw

It's a sign of age if you feel like the morning after the night before and you haven't been anywhere. - Unknown

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

When I first open my eyes upon the morning meadows and look out upon the beautiful world, I thank God I am alive. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

May you keep dreaming until the day you die. May imagination overtake memory. May you die young at a ripe old age. - Mark Batterson

Sometimes in the morning, when it's a good surf, I go out there, and I don't feel like it's a bad world. - Kary Mullis

Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authority is not using his intelligence; he is just using his memory. - Leonardo da Vinci

What's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. - Bob Dylan

This is what I grew up on in Alsace. It's choucroute. I'd wake up every morning with the smell of cabbage and potatoes and pork. - Jean-Georges Vongerichten

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

The general root of superstition is that men observe when things hit, and not when they miss and commit to memory the one, and pass over the other. - Francis Bacon


July 4th Balloon

Maritime Treat

Redneck Wheelchair Stroller

Reflective Art

Canadian Drive-Thru

Work At Home Mom

German Car Parkade

Dog Face or Dog Butt?

Trunk Minions

Despicable Watermelon

New Parking Spot For Women

Popcorn Cremation

Time Is Free

Fishing Trip in New Zealand

Happy 4th of July

Click Click Imaging Specialists

Awkward

Soldier Salute

You Turn

Australia 101 For Tourists

Horse Wood Sculpture

Changing Priorities Ahead

Fishing With Moses

Expired Marriage