#1 humor site on the 'net

Morning Memory

Looking for a morning perk-me-up?

Morning Memory thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Turkish Bath: A pool room - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm an early-morning owl. - Patrick Wilson

Gratitude is the memory of the heart. - Unknown

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

One lives in the hope of becoming a memory. - Antonio Porchia

How I feel when there is no coffee? DEPRESSO - Unknown

Hope has a good memory, gratitude a bad one. - Baltasar Gracian

Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? - Albert Camus

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. - T S Eliot

Every man's memory is his private literature. - Aldous Huxley

The creditor hath a better memory than the debtor. - James Howell

He who laughs not in the morning, laughs not at noon. - Greek Proverb

Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Ultimate horror often paralyses memory in a merciful way. - H.P. Lovecraft

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film. - Steven Wright

Memory is often less about the truth than about what we want it to be. - David Halberstam

Moments of their secret life together burst like stars upon his memory. - James Joyce

What would life be without coffee? But then, what is it even with coffee? - King Louis XV

He is indebted to his memory for his jests and to his imagination for his facts. - Richard Brinsley Sheridan

I stuck my head out the window this morning and spring kissed my bang in the face. - Langston Hughes

Sometimes you will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory. - Dr. Seuss

I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I don't want to hear about your troubles. - Charles Bukowski

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

It is a brief period of life that is granted us by nature, but the memory of a well-spent life never dies. - Cicero

I keep fit. Every morning, I do a hundred laps of an Olympic-sized swimming pool - in a small motor launch. - Peter Cook

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day. - Mickey Rooney

I'm taking memory power boost tablets to help me every day and doing the puzzles to help me stay focused. - Terry Bradshaw

Even if you don't have time for a big workout, stretching in the morning and night really changes your body. - Erin Heatherton

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning. - John Barrymore

If you get up in the morning and you say, 'I got to go to work. How can I get out of this?' you're not happy. - Red Auerbach

Own only what you can always carry with you: know languages, know countries, know people. Let your memory be your travel bag. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

I cannot but bless the memory of Julius Caesar, for the great esteem he expressed for fat men; and his aversion to lean ones. - David Hume

When you wake up in the morning, you have two choices: go back to sleep and dream your dreams, or wake up and chase those dreams. - Unknown

Nothing prepared me for being this awesome. It's kind of a shock to wake up every morning and be bathed in this purple light. - Bill Murray

What's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. - Bob Dylan

This is what I grew up on in Alsace. It's choucroute. I'd wake up every morning with the smell of cabbage and potatoes and pork. - Jean-Georges Vongerichten

Every morning brings new potential, but if you dwell on the misfortunes of the day before, you tend to overlook tremendous opportunities. - Harvey Mackay

The first step in the acquisition of wisdom is silence, the second listening, the third memory, the fourth practice, the fifth teaching others. - Solomon Ibn Gabriol

I have a phenomenal memory. I remember every single thing that anybody said to me, ever did to me, who was nice to me, and who was not nice to me. - Russell Peters

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson


Psychic Fair

Panda Push

Lunch Apple

Protective Wings

Socket To Me

Work Not

I Shoot People!

Warm Them Up

Nautical Sense of Humour

Vegan Brownies

Worst Action Photographer

New Ghost Rider

Paint Ladder

Sidewalk Malt Melt

Redneck Post Support

Indiana Jeans

First Performance

Puzzle Makers

Fishing Dog

Twins' First Piano Lesson

Black Sheep Friday

Black Friday Scam

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Aussie Gazpacho