#1 humor site on the 'net

1920 Mobile Booking Cage

Spending time in a moving jail

1920 Mobile Booking Cage thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Not failure, but low aim, is crime. - J. R. Lowell

All people look better under arrest. - John Waters

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

The perfect man? A poet on a motorcycle. - Lucinda Williams

Behind every great fortune there is a crime. - Honore de Balzac

Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle

Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime. - G. Gordon Liddy

Is it a bigger crime to rob a bank or to open one? - Ted Allan

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

All mothers have intuition. The great ones have radar. - Cathy Guisewite

Stop crime at its source - support planned parenthood. - Robert Byrne

I think crime pays. The hours are good, and you travel a lot. - Woody Allen

Rape is the only crime in which the victim becomes the accused. - Freda Adler

Jail is no place for a young fellow. There's no advancement. - Groucho Marx

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

I don't want to send them to jail. I want to send them to school. - Adlai Stevenson

There should be no bank too big to fail but no individual too big to jail. - Hillary Clinton

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov

Outside of the killings, D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. - Marion Barry

I am kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. - J.D. Salinger

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime. - Ernest Hemingway

Let's commit the perfect crime. I'll steal your heart, and you steal mine. - Meryl Streep

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

Blind commitment to a theory is not an intellectual virtue: it is an intellectual crime. - Imre Lakatos

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

Most motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the handlebars to the saddle. - Unknown

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

A benefit of any job is laughter. It should never be a crime to have fun on the job. It may be a crime not to. - Terry Paulson

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up. - Jay Leno

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

One of the fondest expressions around is that we can't be the world's policeman. But guess who gets called when suddenly someone needs a cop. - General Colin Powell


2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Sign Crime

Royal Family Scrutiny

Bringing It Home

Secret Revealed

Women Pro Golfers

Alternative To Spanking

Laser Cats

At My Age I Need Glasses

Yoga Wine

Slip Sliding Away

Wi-Fi Free Restaurant

Buffalo Construction Plans

For Best Results

Ruling On Criticism

Bacon Pancakes

Very Left Turn Driver

Cold Sermon

Store Tested Coffee

End Of The Line

Cow Vacation

Wheelchair Warriors

Women's Rights

Finger's House