#1 humor site on the 'net

1920 Mobile Booking Cage

Spending time in a moving jail

1920 Mobile Booking Cage thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Not failure, but low aim, is crime. - J. R. Lowell

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

The perfect man? A poet on a motorcycle. - Lucinda Williams

Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle

Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime. - G. Gordon Liddy

Is it a bigger crime to rob a bank or to open one? - Ted Allan

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

All mothers have intuition. The great ones have radar. - Cathy Guisewite

I think crime pays. The hours are good, and you travel a lot. - Woody Allen

Rape is the only crime in which the victim becomes the accused. - Freda Adler

Jail is no place for a young fellow. There's no advancement. - Groucho Marx

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

I don't want to send them to jail. I want to send them to school. - Adlai Stevenson

There should be no bank too big to fail but no individual too big to jail. - Hillary Clinton

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov

That's all the motorcycle is, a system of concepts worked out in steel. - Robert M. Pirsig

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

Outside of the killings, D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. - Marion Barry

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime. - Ernest Hemingway

It's a proven fact that capital punishment is a well-known detergent to crime. - Archie Bunker

Let's commit the perfect crime. I'll steal your heart, and you steal mine. - Meryl Streep

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

Blind commitment to a theory is not an intellectual virtue: it is an intellectual crime. - Imre Lakatos

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything. - Oscar Wilde

Most motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the handlebars to the saddle. - Unknown

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business. - Will Rogers

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up. - Jay Leno

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff


Peanut Sale

Beer Chess

Astronomy Perspective

Wolf Chase

Coffee Caricature

The Working Man

North of Somewhere

Salmon Bikini

Mexican Phys Ed Classes

Parasite Trivia

Plug Puller

Steamworks Bathroom

Another Repost

Pipeline Protesters

Bread Gloves

Winterpeg Warm

Pen Sale Not

Soda Bottle Boat

Raccoon Rock

Cement Truck Lane

Air Wakanda

Birthday Bonus

Harrison Ford

Better Start In Life