Lost House Keys

Every man is a king at home. - English Proverb

Hot flushes and mentalpause. House of ill refute. - Archie Bunker

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

All our words from loose using have lost their edge. - Ernest Hemingway

Art is the only way to run away without leaving home. - Twyla Tharp

Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house. - Unknown

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. - Unknown

Mmm. Lost a planet, Master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing. - Yoda

Better a hundred enemies outside the house than one inside. - Arabic proverb

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

A consultant is an ordinary man away from home giving advice. - Oscar Wilde

Living is using time given to you. You cannot recall lost time. - Pokemon

It is better to have loft and lost than to never have loft at all. - Groucho Marx

Tis better to have loved and lost, Than never to have loved at all. - Alfred Tennyson

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa

No star is lost once we have seen; We always may be what we might have been. - Adelaide Proctor

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. - Steven Wright

What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on? - Henry David Thoreau

If you want to know who is going to change this country, go home and look in the mirror. - Maude Barlow

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. - Bill Cosby

The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. - Paul Fix

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House. - Robin Williams

Home life as we understand it is no more natural to us than a cage is natural to a cockatoo. - George Bernard Shaw

A gentleman should never leave the house without a sharp knife, a good watch, and great hat. - Unknown

Look for opportunity. You can't wait for it to knock on the door ... You might not be home. - Jinger Heath

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family. - Anita Baker

Gonna be incrimated... they're gonna keep the ashes around the house in one of them silver urinals. - Archie Bunker

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires. - Dorothy Parker

The scorn men express for a male who does housework is exceeded only by their aversion to a woman who doesn't. - Penny Kome

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

A happy home is one in which each spouse grants the possibility that the other may be right, though neither believes it. - Don Fraser

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost. - John Quincy Adams

I've missed more than 9,000 shots. I've lost almost 300 games. I've failed over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. - Michael Jordan

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright