#1 humor site on the 'net

Lost House Keys

Here's my house - come get it...

Lost House Keys thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Going to the woods is going home. - John Muir

Home is the nicest word there is. - Laura I Wilder

Not all those who wander are lost. - JRR Tolkien

The woman that deliberates is lost. - Joseph Addison

Liberty, once lost, is lost forever. - John Adams

Oscar night at my house is called Passover. - Bob Hope

When everything is lost, anything is possible. - Robert Inman

At my house, Dust is a noun, not a verb. - Unknown

The church is the great lost-and-found department. - Robert Short

Art is the only way to run away without leaving home. - Twyla Tharp

What's the need of a home if you are never in it? - George Grossmith

Shouting louder does not help if truth has been lost. - Ravi Zacharias

You see much more of your children once they leave home. - Lucille Ball

Better a hundred enemies outside the house than one inside. - Arabic proverb

A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor. - Lucille Kallen

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

One road leads home and a thousand roads lead into the wilderness. - C S Lewis

Tis better to have loved and lost, Than never to have loved at all. - Alfred Tennyson

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

Friends are lost by calling too often and by not calling often enough. - French Proverb

Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home. - Kin Hubbard

I have never been lost, but I will admit to being confused for several weeks. - Daniel Boone

Autumn is mellower, and what we lost in flowers, we more than gain in fruits. - Samuel Butler

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. - Steven Wright

Keyboard: 1. Place to hang your keys; 2. The standard way to generate computer errors. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I love cats because I enjoy my home, and little by little they become its visible soul. - Jean Cocteau

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

Home life as we understand it is no more natural to us than a cage is natural to a cockatoo. - George Bernard Shaw

My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who'd lost three husbands. - Kin Hubbard

Said the daughter: "I don't have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how." - Unknown

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family. - Anita Baker

Lawyers are like painters - once they get into a house, you never know when you will get rid of them again. - Peter A Graham

No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow. - Lin Yutang

Hockey on roller skates is like MMA in a bounce house: the elements are there, but the medium makes the whole thing ridiculous. - David Walton

Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost. - John Quincy Adams

Forgiveness is the remission of sins. For it is by this that what has been lost, and was found, is saved from being lost again. - Saint Augustine

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Anytime I feel lost, I pull out a map and stare. I stare until I have reminded myself that life is a giant adventure, so much to do, to see. - Angelina Jolie

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon

Charity is a very personal equation, like we say charity begins at home. It starts with your immediate help in the house: the people who work for you. - Malaika A. Khan


Ship Tow

Fish Walk

Paradigm Shift

Spanish Stairs

TyrannoSnowRus Rex

Hawaii Surfing

Should Have Pulled Out

Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait

Cooking For Guys

One Sushi Is Enough

Before Online Dating

Wood Trike

Crow Species

Young or Old Swimmer?

Japanese Keyboard

Baby Peephole

Exit Not Found

Cat Burglar

Foot Race

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Lockdown Advice

Wii Way

Odor Detector

Associate Demonstration