Lost House Keys

Home is home, though it be homely. - English Proverb

Operatics: Bugs that live in an opera house - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dreaded disease is infilteratin' our home - Archie Bunker

Learning, undigested by thought, is labor lost. - Confucius

We can dance on pinheads till the cows come home. - Alastair Campbell

Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown

I just heard from Bill Bailey. He's not coming home. - Henny Youngman

Living is using time given to you. You cannot recall lost time. - Pokemon

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. - George Carlin

Real Estate: What your house is called during divorce proceedings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is better to have loft and lost than to never have loft at all. - Groucho Marx

The biggest sin in the world would be if I lost my love for the ocean. - Laird Hamilton

Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

I never stole a joke in my life. I just find them before they're lost. - Milton Berle

Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost. - Helen Keller

I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. - Steven Wright

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

People who have good relationships at home are more effective in the marketplace. - Zig Ziglar

What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on? - Henry David Thoreau

I love cats because I enjoy my home, and little by little they become its visible soul. - Jean Cocteau

This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I'm not about to screw with it now. - Bob Newhart

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Crafting fills my life, and my closets, and my drawers, and every empty tote bag in the house. - Unknown

Maybe more youngsters would stay home at nights if they were not afraid to stay alone at nights. - Herbert Prochnow

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family. - Anita Baker

You need a plan to build a house. To build a life, it is even more important to have a plan or goal. - Zig Ziglar

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity. - Erma Bombeck

Window Screen: 1. A device to prevent the escape of insects; 2. A device for keeping flies in the house. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse. - Quentin Crisp

Lawyers are like painters - once they get into a house, you never know when you will get rid of them again. - Peter A Graham

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

Career Woman: One who goes out and earns a man's salary instead of sitting at home and taking it away from him - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them. - Henry David Thoreau

A sibling may be the keeper of one's identity, the only person with the keys to one's unfettered, more fundamental self. - Marian Sandmaier

A lost empire, lost power and lost wealth provide perfect circumstances for living happily and contentedly in our enchanted island. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second. - Robert Frost

Science is built up with facts, as a house is with stones. But a collection of facts is no more a science than a heap of stones is a house. - Jules H Poincare

I am a gypsy. I haven't had a home for a long time. Call me a homeless person - I just throw everything in a bag and I'm good to go. - Taylor Kinney