Lost House Keys

An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

A good home must be made, not bought. - Joyce Maynard

Art is a house that tries to be haunted. - Emily Dickinson

There will be no whitewash at the White House. - Richard M Nixon

Heaven is home. Utopia is here. Nirvana is now. - Edward Abbey

He'd go through the house like Typhoon Mary. - Archie Bunker

We can dance on pinheads till the cows come home. - Alastair Campbell

It is easier to demolish a house than to build one. - Irish proverb

While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home. - Unknown

Mmm. Lost a planet, Master Obi-Wan has. How embarrassing. - Yoda

Many friends have been lost by jest, but few have been gained. - Unknown

Of all the things I've lost, it's my mind I miss the most. - Ozzy Osbourne

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

Hidin' out in the house all the time, like some Bantam of the Opera. - Archie Bunker

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

When the snake is in the house, one need not discuss the matter at length. - African Saying

Tell her I ain't crawlin' home to her with my tail between her legs. - Archie Bunker

I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost. - A.A. Milne

I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. - Steven Wright

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Humility is a strange thing. The minute you think you've got it, you've lost it. - Unknown

If you want to see me, come over anytime. If you want to see my house, make an appointment. - Unknown

If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz

I think you could build a couple of humans with the amount of skin lost on the reef at Pipe. - Martin Potter

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. - Steven Wright

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. - Erma Bombeck

The joke was lost on the foreigner - guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke. - Mark Twain

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition. - Phyllis Diller

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

One of television's great contributions is that it brought murder back into the home, where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

You reached into my soul and rearranged the position of my bones,
You rebuilt my rib cage so your heart could be home. - Unknown

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong

Science is built up with facts, as a house is with stones. But a collection of facts is not more a science than a heap of stones is a house. - Jules Poincare