#1 humor site on the 'net

Loose Lips Sink Ships

Turn Signal wisdom

Loose Lips Sink Ships thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

The best road to progress is freedom's road. - John F Kennedy

You often meet your fate on the road you take to avoid it. - French Proverb

The road to the City of Emeralds is paved with yellow brick. - L. Frank Baum

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

One road leads home and a thousand roads lead into the wilderness. - C S Lewis

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

The road to freedom must be uphill, even if it is arduous and frustrating. - Andrew Goodman

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright

God made the world round so we would never be able to see too far down the road. - Unknown

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

Your goals are the road maps that guide you and show you what is possible for your life. - Les Brown

Beneath this slab
John Brown is stowed;
He watched the ads
And not the road. - Ogden Nash

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

The middle of the road is where the white line is - and that's the worst place to drive. - Robert Frost

I have only one eye, I have a right to be blind sometimes... I really do not see the signal! - Horatio Nelson

Why endeavor to straighten the road of life? The faster we travel, the less there is to see. - Helen Hayes

HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Good friends are like shock absorbers. They help you take the lumps and bumps on the road of life. - Frank Tyger

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Failures, repeated failures, are finger posts on the road to achievement. One fails forward toward success. - C S Lewis

All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk. - Ayn Rand

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Speed Limit: The velocity one must exceed by approximately 10 MPH on a major highway or risk being run off the road - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

To find what you seek in the road of life, the best proverb of all is that which says: "Leave no stone unturned." - Edward Bulwer Lytton

Hope is like a road in the country; there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence. - Lin Yutang

Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn't make a decision. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Victory at all cost, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival. - Winston Churchill

People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost. - H Jackson Brown, Jr.


Selfie Pilot

Monarch Butterflies - Starting a Monarchy

Air Couch

Europe Road Trip

Thongthing Special

Nighttime Graffiti

Baby Formula

Kid Suction

Redneck Moving Truck

Critter Control

Lost Dog

Nail Chair

Looking For Something?

Yellow Pet

Race Break

Fuse Bypass

Good Boy

British Tea Party

Roadside Assistance

Chair Boy

Cheers Beer

African Airstrip

Horsepower vs Torque

Filling Up Is OverRated