#1 humor site on the 'net

Invisible Christmas Tree

Cutting back on the Christmas budget this year

Invisible Christmas Tree thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Every man under his own fig tree. - Hebrew Saying

Relief: What trees do in the spring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Trees often transplanted seldom prosper. - Flemish Proverb

What kind of man gives cigarettes to trees? - Robin Williams

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

Gladly accept the gifts of the present hour. - Horace

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit. - Moliere

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. - Garth Brooks

The patriot's blood is the seed of Freedom's tree. - Thomas Campbell

He knows his olive trees better than he knows his children. - Rebecca Helm-Ropelato

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. - Kahlil Gibran

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus

If you don't like where you are, move. You are not a tree. - Unknown

Life is a pure flame, and we live by an invisible sun within us. - Sir Thomas Brown

The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible. - Oscar Wilde

I ordered a bed from IKEA and they sent me a tree trunk and a saw. - Eileen Curtright

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

Those gifts are ever the most acceptable which the giver has made precious. - Ovid

If we surrendered to earth's intelligence, we could rise up rooted like trees. - Rainer M Rilke

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

Shady Character: A fellow who snoozes in a hammock under a tree while his wife mows the lawn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One of the most important gifts we have in television - the ability to heal through laughter. - Soleil M Frye

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Bountiful: What Captain Bligh declared after learning that one more breadfruit tree would sink his ship - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

The axe cannot boast of the tree it has cut down. It could do nothing but for the woodsman. He made it, he sharpened it, and he used it. - Samuel Brengel

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash

Love is like the wild-rose briar, friendship like the holly-tree. The holly is dark when the rose-briar blooms, but which will bloom most constantly? - Emily Bronte


Jack-A-Lope vs Jack-E-Lope

Urleen

Carry On or Carrion?

Selfie Pilot

Monarch Butterflies - Starting a Monarchy

Air Couch

Europe Road Trip

Thongthing Special

Nighttime Graffiti

Baby Formula

Kid Suction

Redneck Moving Truck

Critter Control

Lost Dog

Nail Chair

Looking For Something?

Yellow Pet

Race Break

Fuse Bypass

Good Boy

British Tea Party

Roadside Assistance

Chair Boy

Cheers Beer