Hunting Stand Fail

A wounded deer leaps the highest. - Emily Dickinson

Never shoot more than you can eat. - Unknown

Old hunters never die, they just stay loaded. - Unknown

Aim high and you won’t shoot your foot off. - Phyllis Diller

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? - Steven Wright

Canada has two emblems - the beaver and the maple. - John W. Dawson

Hunting: the least honorable form of war on the weak. - Paul Richard

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - George Burns

Stucco: What a lot of house hunters are getting these days - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You know, I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters. - Groucho Marx

I used to look like a deer in headlights on the red carpet. - Emily Blunt

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? - George Carlin

The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite

Hunting isn't just something I do. It's part of who I am. - Unknown

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

Diploma: 1. Da man dat fixes your pipes; 2. A job-hunting license. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Vegetarian: an old Indian word for "doesn't hunt well." - Paul Harvey

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

Shoot a few scenes out of focus. I want to win the foreign film award. - Billy Wilder

If the hunter comes back with mushrooms, don't ask him how his hunt was. - Ghanaian Proverb

To hunt successfully, you must know your ground, your pack, and your quarry. - K J Parker

Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game. - Paul Rodriguez

Grandchildren are God's rewards to grandparents for not shooting their children. - Unknown

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target. - Ashleigh Brilliant

Though so trifling, the success of our first Buffalo hunt gave us quite a social lift. - Ernest T. Seton

In my cosmology, indigenous wild deer are more important than exotic ornamental shrubs. - Elizabeth M. Thomas

While I love shooting in New York City, I look forward to filming season six in Los Angeles. - Donald Trump

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

There are sadistic scientists who hurry to hunt down errors instead of establishing the truth. - Marie Curie

I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. I don't even know where Sandwiches live. - Bill Murray

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. - Tim Vine

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg. - Bjarne Stroustrup

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. - P G Wodehouse

I was court-martialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. - Bill Bryson

I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters, okay? It's, like, incredible. - Donald Trump

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

When I came back to Dublin, I was courtmartialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan