#1 humor site on the 'net

Holy Guacamoley

How to elongate avocado sauce

Holy Guacamoley thanks to Keith Blake

Guacamole (aka guac) is an avocado-based dip first developed by the Aztecs. Used in Mexican cuisine, it has become part of international and American cuisine as a dip, condiment and salad ingredient.

QuotaBills
Chocolate cake is the bomb! - Scarlett Pomers

I'm not much of a cake person. - Daniel Radcliffe

Food is the most primitive form of comfort. - Sheila Graham

There ain't no such thing as wrong food. - Sean Stewart

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

My policy on cake is pro having it and pro eating it. - Boris Johnson

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

Once you get rid of integrity the rest is a piece of cake. - Larry Hagman

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food. - Unknown

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

We need more young people involved in farming because the future needs real food. - Helena Sylvester

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan

People want honest, flavourful food, not some show-off meal that takes days to prepare. - Ted Allen

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

A bad review is like baking a cake with all the best ingredients and having someone sit on it. - Danielle Steel

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

If music be the food of love, play on, give me excess of it; that surfeiting, the appetite may sicken, and so die. - William Shakespeare

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

Every time you use the word 'healthy,' you lose. The key is to make yummy, delicious food that happens to be healthy. - Marcus Samuelsson

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld

It's a piece of cake until you get to the top. You find you can't stop playing the game the way you've always played it. - Richard M Nixon

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli


Bent Over

Whatchamacallit Car

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Gone To Market

Peak Bernie

Female IT Experts

Obi-Juan Kenobi

Fuse ReplaceMeant

Student Food Strainer

IBITE

Slide-n-Freeze

Lizard Guitar

Electricity Storage

How To Sharpen Pencils

Chevforodge

Free Stuff

Baby Bird Chorus

Hang On

Home Depot Delivery

Sea Painting

Radish Camouflage

Canadian Twins

Big Birth - They Start Off Big At This Hospital

Not Stuck