#1 humor site on the 'net

Forget The Wall

Build a deck and invite everyone over

Forget The Wall thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

Walnuts: People who are crazy about walls - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet. - Steven Wright

You are confined only by the walls you build yourself. - Unknown

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - Steven Wright

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. - Larry Wall

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

Noise is a buffer, more effective than cubicles or booth walls. - Margaret Heffernan

I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago. I shot my broker. - Groucho Marx

Changes in language often reflect the changing values of a culture. - Ravi Zacharias

Silence is the language of God; it is also the language of the heart. - Sivananda

In Wall Street the only thing that's hard to explain is next week. - Louis Rukeyser

If you're a good numbers person, you're a bad language person. - Frank Luntz

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

A great many people think that polysyllables are a sign of intelligence. - Barbara Walters

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

Dreams say what they mean, but they don't say it in daytime language. - Gail Godwin

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door. - Coco Chanel

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

It is often a sign of wit not to show it, and not to see that others want it. - Suzanne Necker

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

Men are like a deck of cards. You'll find the occasional king, but most are jacks. - Laura Swenson

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

The fall of the Berlin Wall makes for nice pictures. But it all started in the shipyards. - Lech Walesa

Moose: An animal that has a head and horns on one end and a living room wall on the other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? - Albert Einstein

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are so very mean. - Zach Galifianakis

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The sign of intelligent people is their ability to control emotions by the application of reason. - Marya Mannes

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

It is when we notice the dirt that God is most present in us; it is the very sign of His presence. - C S Lewis

If the sign on your heart says, "WELCOME", the love will come pouring in from everywhere. - Susan Jeffers

Human language appears to be a unique phenomenon, without significant analogue in the animal world. - Noam Chomsky

Music is the language of the spirit. It opens the secret of life bringing peace, abolishing strife. - Kahlil Gibran

How do you confuse a Kerryman?
Place three shovels against a wall and ask him to take his pick. - Unknown

I got all the schooling any actress needs. That is, I learned to write well enough to sign contracts. - Hermione Gingold

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

It's triple the Trump this season... I invited my children, Don Jr. and Ivanka into the boardroom. - Donald Trump

Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall. - Alan Bennett

The seeds of learning can grow almost anywhere. Trump University and my other education-related ventures like... - Donald Trump

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Bill Watterson

Figure out what you hope for. Live inside that hope, running down its hallways, touching the walls on both sides. - Barbara Kingsolver

Pain is a sign that we are alive. Problems are a sign that we are strong. Prayer is a sign that we are not alone. - Unknown

Language, identity, place, home: these are all of a piece - just different elements of belonging and not-belonging. - Jhumpa Lahiri

Who is apt, on occasion, to assign a multitude of reasons when one will do? This is a sure sign of weakness in argument. - Harriet Martineau

Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope. - Maya Angelou

The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless. - Unknown

Music expresses feeling and thought, without language; it was below and before speech, and it is above and beyond all words. - Robert G Ingersoll

The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them. - Virginia Woolf

The symbolic language of the crucifixion is the death of the old paradigm; resurrection is a leap into a whole new way of thinking. - Deepak Chopra

Always try to use the language so as to make quite clear what you mean and make sure your sentence couldn't mean anything else. - C S Lewis

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

These are stupid people that say, "Oh didn't Trump declare bankruptcy? Didn't he go bankrupt?" I didn't go bankrupt. - Donald Trump

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Free Stuff

Baby Bird Chorus

Hang On

Home Depot Delivery

Sea Painting

Radish Camouflage

Canadian Twins

Big Birth - They Start Off Big At This Hospital

Not Stuck

Motorcycle For Sale

Dog Cross

Pigeon Drink

Pittsburghese

Whose Problem

Grasping Shirt

An Evening Prayer

Baby Clone

Piano Ring

Religious Nuts

Funnel Farm

Urinal Challenge

Snow Detour

Redneck GPS