#1 humor site on the 'net

Forget The Wall

Build a deck and invite everyone over

Forget The Wall thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Humor is a universal language. - Joel Goodman

Not all classrooms have four walls. - Unknown

An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

Walnuts: People who are crazy about walls - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines. - Robert H Schuller

You want me on that wall, you need me on that wall! - Jack Nicholson

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet. - Steven Wright

To play billiards well is a sign of ill-spent youth. - Charles Roupell

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, I am my mother after all. - Unknown

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

Magic Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all? - Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

Changes in language often reflect the changing values of a culture. - Ravi Zacharias

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so. - Gore Vidal

A great many people think that polysyllables are a sign of intelligence. - Barbara Walters

The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keeps out the joy. - Jim Rohn

Dreams say what they mean, but they don't say it in daytime language. - Gail Godwin

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

To be satisfied with yourself is a sure sign that your forward motion has stopped. - Unknown

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

When a man falls into his anecdotage, it is a sign for him to retire from the world. - Benjamin Disraeli

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Contradiction is not a sign of falsity, nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth. - Blaise Pascal

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it. - Gordon R. Dickson

The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. - Jerry M Wright

The fall of the Berlin Wall makes for nice pictures. But it all started in the shipyards. - Lech Walesa

Moose: An animal that has a head and horns on one end and a living room wall on the other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

Tears shed for self are tears of weakness, but tears shed for others are a sign of strength. - Billy Graham

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

Let Wall Street have a nightmare and the whole country has to help get them back in bed again. - Will Rogers

The sign of intelligent people is their ability to control emotions by the application of reason. - Marya Mannes

Human language appears to be a unique phenomenon, without significant analogue in the animal world. - Noam Chomsky

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

How do you confuse a Kerryman?
Place three shovels against a wall and ask him to take his pick. - Unknown

I got all the schooling any actress needs. That is, I learned to write well enough to sign contracts. - Hermione Gingold

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

It's triple the Trump this season... I invited my children, Don Jr. and Ivanka into the boardroom. - Donald Trump

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Bill Watterson

Crying doesn't indicate that you are weak. Ever since you were born it's been a sign that you are alive. - Unknown

Pain is a sign that we are alive. Problems are a sign that we are strong. Prayer is a sign that we are not alone. - Unknown

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley

The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenements halls and whispered in the sounds of silence. - Paul Simon

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

Freedom has many difficulties and democracy is not perfect. But we have never had to put a wall up to keep our people in. - John F Kennedy

Don't be afraid of being scared. To be afraid is a sign of common sense. Only complete idiots are not afraid of anything. - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

Management is efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; leadership determines whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall. - Stephen Covey

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

Abundance and vigor of automatic movements are desirable, and even a considerable degree of restlessness is a good sign in young children. - G Stanley Hall

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Tonsil Ring

Brew Haul-her - 12 Brewskies At A Time

Anon-y-moose

Redneck Beer Opener

Greek Monk

Dates For Everyone

Max Occupancy Rounded to 100

Group Photo

Awning Truck Advertising

Harley Load

Face To Face

Who Needs Physics?

Benched Puppies

Water Relief

Shot Glasses

Men in Denim

Chocolate Couch

Ant Attack

Extreme Pressure Cooker

Just Thinking

Nothing Wrong Picture

Lipstick Dog

Hair Strengthener

Whale Photobomb