#1 humor site on the 'net

Fastest Land Mammal

Finding what's in a toddler's mouth

Fastest Land Mammal thanks to Marian Renstrom

QuotaBills
Humor is a universal language. - Joel Goodman

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

Music is the universal language of mankind. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines. - Robert H Schuller

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. - Terry Pratchett

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. - Larry Wall

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

To a child's ear, 'mother' is magic in any language. - Arlene Benedict

Changes in language often reflect the changing values of a culture. - Ravi Zacharias

The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so. - Gore Vidal

Silence is the language of God; it is also the language of the heart. - Sivananda

If you're a good numbers person, you're a bad language person. - Frank Luntz

A great many people think that polysyllables are a sign of intelligence. - Barbara Walters

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

Dreams say what they mean, but they don't say it in daytime language. - Gail Godwin

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut. - Sam Rayburn

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

To be satisfied with yourself is a sure sign that your forward motion has stopped. - Unknown

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

When a man falls into his anecdotage, it is a sign for him to retire from the world. - Benjamin Disraeli

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Contradiction is not a sign of falsity, nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth. - Blaise Pascal

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? - Albert Einstein

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in... it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

The sign of intelligent people is their ability to control emotions by the application of reason. - Marya Mannes

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

It is when we notice the dirt that God is most present in us; it is the very sign of His presence. - C S Lewis

If the sign on your heart says, "WELCOME", the love will come pouring in from everywhere. - Susan Jeffers

Music is the language of the spirit. It opens the secret of life bringing peace, abolishing strife. - Kahlil Gibran

I got all the schooling any actress needs. That is, I learned to write well enough to sign contracts. - Hermione Gingold

Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. - Woody Allen

It's a sign of age if you feel like the morning after the night before and you haven't been anywhere. - Unknown

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Bill Watterson

Pain is a sign that we are alive. Problems are a sign that we are strong. Prayer is a sign that we are not alone. - Unknown

Language, identity, place, home: these are all of a piece - just different elements of belonging and not-belonging. - Jhumpa Lahiri

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere dumb aliens there. - AJ Gossip

Who is apt, on occasion, to assign a multitude of reasons when one will do? This is a sure sign of weakness in argument. - Harriet Martineau

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

Music expresses feeling and thought, without language; it was below and before speech, and it is above and beyond all words. - Robert G Ingersoll

The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

The symbolic language of the crucifixion is the death of the old paradigm; resurrection is a leap into a whole new way of thinking. - Deepak Chopra

Always try to use the language so as to make quite clear what you mean and make sure your sentence couldn't mean anything else. - C S Lewis

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

A man’s life is interesting primarily when he has failed – I well know. For it’s a sign that he tried to surpass himself. - Georges Clemenceau

Abundance and vigor of automatic movements are desirable, and even a considerable degree of restlessness is a good sign in young children. - G Stanley Hall

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Hand-Some Baby

Joined Workout

Looking The Part

Redneck Candle

Redneck Plumbing

Flat Spare Tire

Ink Birds

Man Of The House

Ukrainian Model T

Sunshine State

Sons Of Arthritis

Husband Colors

Soccer Watch

Finger Lickin' Good!

Scottish Variant

Knight Room

FIFA HQ

Spot The Surfer

Finally Got The Sink Fixed

Antique iPhones

Spongebob Suarez

Auto Correct Passing

Computer Resuscitation

PonyTale