#1 humor site on the 'net

Difference Maker

Making planet-based decisions

Difference Maker thanks to Chris Kane

QuotaBills
Humor is a universal language. - Joel Goodman

I want to make my own life a masterpiece. - Benito Mussolini

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines. - Robert H Schuller

To play billiards well is a sign of ill-spent youth. - Charles Roupell

The art of communication is the language of leadership. - James Humes

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it. - Earl Wilson

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own. - Woody Allen

Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

Reality can be lost when reason and language have been violated. - Ravi Zacharias

I have opinions of my own but I don't always agree with them. - George H W Bush

I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end. - Margaret Thatcher

The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so. - Gore Vidal

Silence is the language of God; it is also the language of the heart. - Sivananda

If you're a good numbers person, you're a bad language person. - Frank Luntz

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

When I quote others I do so in order to express my own ideas more clearly. - Michel de Montaigne

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services. - Daniel J. Boorstin

I'd rather have 1% of the effort of 100 men than 100% of my own effort. - J Paul Getty

If the music is loud enough I won't be able to listen to my own thoughts. - Nic Sheff

I got something important here to read and sign and I gotta consecrate on that. - Archie Bunker

I measure my own success as a leader by how well the people who work for me succeed. - Maria Shi

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Contradiction is not a sign of falsity, nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth. - Blaise Pascal

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. - Yakov Smirnoff

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? - Albert Einstein

Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart. - Jose N Harris

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

I love you the more in that I believe you had liked me for my own sake and for nothing else. - John Keats

If you are discouraged it is a sign of pride, because it shows you trust in your own powers. - Mother Teresa

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in... it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

Madness is loving the unsolvable puzzle of your soul and replacing the lost pieces with my own. - Shannon L. Alder

The sign of intelligent people is their ability to control emotions by the application of reason. - Marya Mannes

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

It is when we notice the dirt that God is most present in us; it is the very sign of His presence. - C S Lewis

Sometimes I have kept my feelings to myself, because I could find no language to describe them in. - Jane Austen

Human language appears to be a unique phenomenon, without significant analogue in the animal world. - Noam Chomsky

Music is the language of the spirit. It opens the secret of life bringing peace, abolishing strife. - Kahlil Gibran

If there's a bright centre to the universe, you're on the planet that it's farthest from. - Luke Skywalker

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Pain is a sign that we are alive. Problems are a sign that we are strong. Prayer is a sign that we are not alone. - Unknown

Thanksgiving is the language of heaven, and we had better start to learn it if we are not to be mere dumb aliens there. - AJ Gossip

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

I'm always astonished by a forest. It makes me realise that the fantasy of nature is much larger than my own fantasy. - Gunter Grass

Don't be afraid of being scared. To be afraid is a sign of common sense. Only complete idiots are not afraid of anything. - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

Living in China has made me appreciate my own country, with its tiny, ethnically diverse population of unassuming donut-eaters. - Jan Wong

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them. - Virginia Woolf

The symbolic language of the crucifixion is the death of the old paradigm; resurrection is a leap into a whole new way of thinking. - Deepak Chopra

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

A man’s life is interesting primarily when he has failed – I well know. For it’s a sign that he tried to surpass himself. - Georges Clemenceau

Over the long haul of life on this planet, it is the ecologists, and not the bookkeepers of business, who are the ultimate accountants. - Stewart L McKinley

The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon. - Kurt Vonnegut

Abundance and vigor of automatic movements are desirable, and even a considerable degree of restlessness is a good sign in young children. - G Stanley Hall

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

I want to keep fighting because it is the only thing that keeps me out of the hamburger joints. If I don't fight, I'll eat this planet. - George Foreman

Who, by vigor of mind almost divine, the motions and figures of the planets, the paths of comets, and the tides of the seas first demonstrated. - Isaac Newton

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Show Off

I Eat Soldiers For Breakfast

'Do Not Read' Sign

Underground Stairway

Arsenic Wafers

Breaker Bypass

Flintstone Drum Set

Cautious Ball Crossing

Added Ingredients

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Horse Photobomb

Counter Fitter

Good As New

One Way Repairs

Bouncing Checks

Vertical Diggers

Motorcycle Grind

Handicap Porch

Tip Generator

Waiting For Windows To Boot

So Close

Pork Chops

Brazilian Covid

Nothing Wrong Picture