#1 humor site on the 'net

Diet Carbs

Mechanics choose specialized diet plans

Diet Carbs thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

We don't see many fat men walking on stilts. - Bud Miller

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. - Dave Barry

In Heaven, chocolate has no calories and is served as the main course. - Unknown

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

There is nothing more beautiful in this world than a healthy, wise old man. - Lin Yutang

I gotta lose weight, Edith. I hope you remembered my diuretic cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

Fitness needs to be perceived as fun and games or we subconsciously avoid it. - Alan Thicke

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

Life, if you're fat, is a minefield - you have to pick your way, otherwise you blow up. - Miriam Margolyes

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

There's no point in wasting calories on cheap chocolate, always opt for the darkest and richest. - Nanci Rathbun

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis

Baloney is the unvarnished lie laid on so thick you hate it. Blarney is flattery laid on so thin you love it. - Fulton J Sheen

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. - John Updike

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

Desire is the key to motivation. It is the key to develop a healthy personality and a positive attitude towards oneself and others. - Amit Abraham

A party of order or stability, and a party of progress or reform, are both necessary elements of a healthy state of political life. - John Stuart Mill

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

A healthy, if well-concealed, respect for one's own capabilities is essential, but it should never lead to underestimating those of the opponent. - Jack Nicklaus


Orthodox Weapon

Antler Car

Wicked Stawm

Dementia Relations

Church Karma

The End in Canada

Sign Slippage

Obedient Wives

Symptoms of Laziness

Hog Hunter

Sea Horse

Impossible Object

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Blinker Fluid

Dutch Rollerblades

Goat Tree

Mind The Pedestrians

Trapped in the 5th Dimension

Job Retraining

Wet Floor Caution

Chef Multitasking

Camera Waterfall

Irony Pin

Cellfies