#1 humor site on the 'net

Christmas Coat

Hard to believe people are still wearing fir

Christmas Coat thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Friendship is a sheltering tree. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Every man under his own fig tree. - Hebrew Saying

The apple will fall under the apple tree. - Greek Proverb

Gladly accept the gifts of the present hour. - Horace

Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind. - William Shakespeare

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. - Garth Brooks

Your children need your presence more than your presents. - Jesse Jackson

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf

I ordered a bed from IKEA and they sent me a tree trunk and a saw. - Eileen Curtright

Family Tree: The only tree whose branches seek the shelter of its roots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Zealotry: 1. The enemy of idealism; 2. What a tree salesman likes to do. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

One of the most important gifts we have in television - the ability to heal through laughter. - Soleil M Frye

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

It's better to fall from a tree and break your back than to fall in love and break your heart. - African Proverb

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

We are each given a limitless capacity to love and attain wisdom. The extent we use these gifts is our choice. - Anthony Douglas

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

It's in the democratic citizen's nature to be like a leaf that doesn't believe in the tree it's part of. - David Foster Wallace

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

The axe cannot boast of the tree it has cut down. It could do nothing but for the woodsman. He made it, he sharpened it, and he used it. - Samuel Brengel

Pride causes us to use our gifts as though they came from ourselves, not benefits received from God, and to usurp our benefactor's glory. - Bernard of Clairvaux

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon

Love is like the wild-rose briar, friendship like the holly-tree. The holly is dark when the rose-briar blooms, but which will bloom most constantly? - Emily Bronte


Redneck Fire Alarm

Camel Photobomb

One

Amish Smart Car

This Rocks

Arch Support

Tired Of Snow

Drowning Danger in the Dead Sea

World Peas

Tired Truck

Harmacy

Redneck Cotter Pin

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Guitar Scooter

1947 X-ray Machine

Grouchy German

Knock Hard

Economy Flight Plan

Canadian Car Crash

Recipe Holder

Seuss Army Knife

Dustpan Waterfall

Pita Pan

Drum Kit Chandelier