#1 humor site on the 'net

Cat Burglar

Are you missing underwear?

Cat Burglar thanks to Keith Blake

Cat Burglar thanks to Keith Blake

Cat Burglar thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Property is robbery. - Latin Proverb

A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

International Spade The Cat Week - Archie Bunker

All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

Don't judge a cat by its coat. - Magdalena VandenBerg

Cataract: Where cats hang their coats. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dapper Diaper: Well-dressed baby underwear. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown

A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution. - Hazel Nicholson

My socks DO match. They're the same thickness. - Steven Wright

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat. - Leo Dworkin

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

If I'm traveling, I'll pack socks in my bag - really cute furry ones. - Nicki Minaj

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction. - Mark Twain

In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. - Warren Eckstein

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off. - Bill Murray

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

I walk around like everything if fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. - Unknown

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling. - Rodney Dangerfield

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

The true identity theft is not financial. It's not in cyberspace. It's spiritual. It's been taken. - Stephen Covey

Of course there are no skeletons in my closet... I do however keep a tiny black box of souls in my sock drawer. - Unknown

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Alfred Tennyson

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright


Joined Workout

Looking The Part

Redneck Candle

Redneck Plumbing

Flat Spare Tire

Ink Birds

Man Of The House

Ukrainian Model T

Sunshine State

Sons Of Arthritis

Husband Colors

Soccer Watch

Finger Lickin' Good!

Scottish Variant

Knight Room

FIFA HQ

Spot The Surfer

Finally Got The Sink Fixed

Antique iPhones

Spongebob Suarez

Auto Correct Passing

Computer Resuscitation

PonyTale

Husband of the Year