Cat Burglar

You gotta be kitten me. - Unknown

Curiosity killed the cat. - English Proverb

A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

Dust Rags: Dad's Underwear - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Catacomb: A feline grooming tool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

Don't judge a cat by its coat. - Magdalena VandenBerg

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

My socks DO match. They're the same thickness. - Steven Wright

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

The Cat. He walked by himself, and all places were alike to him. - Rudyard Kipling

Hairball: When a cat throws up to the basketball hoop, and misses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ladies' Sewing Circle: Where more husbands are darned than socks - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. - Wesley Bates

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. - Albert Schweitzer

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor

I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone. - Steven Wright

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

A good politician, under democracy, is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar. - H L Mencken

In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. - Warren Eckstein

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. - Will Rogers

I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

I love cats because I enjoy my home, and little by little they become its visible soul. - Jean Cocteau

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. - Hippolyte Taine

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her. - Montaigne

I travel without barely any luggage. Just a second set of underwear and binoculars and a map and a toothbrush. - Werner Herzog

The true identity theft is not financial. It's not in cyberspace. It's spiritual. It's been taken. - Stephen Covey

Of course there are no skeletons in my closet... I do however keep a tiny black box of souls in my sock drawer. - Unknown

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright