Cat Burglar

You gotta be kitten me. - Unknown

All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

Don't judge a cat by its coat. - Magdalena VandenBerg

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution. - Hazel Nicholson

My socks DO match. They're the same thickness. - Steven Wright

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

Humility is like underwear, essential but indecent if it shows. - Helen Nielsen

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

Hairball: When a cat throws up to the basketball hoop, and misses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

Ladies' Sewing Circle: Where more husbands are darned than socks - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat. - Ogden Nash

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

A good politician, under democracy, is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar. - H L Mencken

In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. - Warren Eckstein

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear. - Woody Allen

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

I love cats because I enjoy my home, and little by little they become its visible soul. - Jean Cocteau

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. - Hippolyte Taine

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

I walk around like everything if fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. - Unknown

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks. - Groucho Marx

When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her. - Montaigne

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. - Jerry Seinfeld

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli