Canadian Twins

Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

Stoic: De boid what brings de babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are no premature babies, only delayed weddings. - American Proverb

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to. - Robert Brault

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

Experience is the child of thought, and thought is the child of action. - Benjamin Disraeli

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

There's only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it. - English Proverb

All my life through, the new sights of Nature made me rejoice like a child. - Marie Curie

You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test. - George W. Bush

A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn't act that way very often. - Unknown

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? - Benny Hill

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If a child can't learn the way we teach, maybe we should teach the way they learn. - Ignacio Estrada

When I see my granddaughters make small discoveries of their own, I wish I were a child. - Dr. Seuss

When I was a child, I wanted to raise horses in Wyoming or be a cabin boy on a pirate ship. - Sadie Jones

What is so real as the cry of a child? A rabbit's cry may be wilder but it has no soul. - Sylvia Plath

When you teach a child something, you take away forever his chance of discovering it for himself. - Jean Piaget

Sprouts: Innocent green plants snatched in their infancy and devoured alive by ravenous vegetarians - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As a child, I was subjected to a lot of spaghetti Westerns and hated them. I wanted the Indians to win. - Kara Walker

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

Every child should have an occasional pat on the back as long as it is applied low enough and hard enough. - Bishop Fulton J. Sheen

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

One thing I had learned from watching chimpanzees with their infants is that having a child should be fun. - Jane Goodall

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender. - WC Fields

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

Any fool can have a child. That doesn't make you a father. It's the courage to raise a child that makes you a father. - Barack Obama

Grandparent: 1. One who knows that spanking is unnecessary; 2. The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason; to always be curious; and to fight tirelessly for something. - Paulo Coelho

Forgiveness is that subtle thread that binds both love and friendship. Without forgiveness, you may not even have a child one day. - George Foreman

Play is the highest expression of human development in childhood for it alone is the free expression of what is in a child's soul. - Friedrich Frobel

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung