#1 humor site on the 'net

Canadian Twins

How babies are born in Canada

Canadian Twins thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

Stoic: De boid what brings de babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are no premature babies, only delayed weddings. - American Proverb

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to. - Robert Brault

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

Experience is the child of thought, and thought is the child of action. - Benjamin Disraeli

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

There's only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it. - English Proverb

All my life through, the new sights of Nature made me rejoice like a child. - Marie Curie

You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test. - George W. Bush

A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn't act that way very often. - Unknown

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? - Benny Hill

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If a child can't learn the way we teach, maybe we should teach the way they learn. - Ignacio Estrada

When I see my granddaughters make small discoveries of their own, I wish I were a child. - Dr. Seuss

When I was a child, I wanted to raise horses in Wyoming or be a cabin boy on a pirate ship. - Sadie Jones

What is so real as the cry of a child? A rabbit's cry may be wilder but it has no soul. - Sylvia Plath

When you teach a child something, you take away forever his chance of discovering it for himself. - Jean Piaget

Sprouts: Innocent green plants snatched in their infancy and devoured alive by ravenous vegetarians - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As a child, I was subjected to a lot of spaghetti Westerns and hated them. I wanted the Indians to win. - Kara Walker

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

Every child should have an occasional pat on the back as long as it is applied low enough and hard enough. - Bishop Fulton J. Sheen

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

One thing I had learned from watching chimpanzees with their infants is that having a child should be fun. - Jane Goodall

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender. - WC Fields

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

Any fool can have a child. That doesn't make you a father. It's the courage to raise a child that makes you a father. - Barack Obama

Grandparent: 1. One who knows that spanking is unnecessary; 2. The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason; to always be curious; and to fight tirelessly for something. - Paulo Coelho

Forgiveness is that subtle thread that binds both love and friendship. Without forgiveness, you may not even have a child one day. - George Foreman

Play is the highest expression of human development in childhood for it alone is the free expression of what is in a child's soul. - Friedrich Frobel

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung


Indian Fish Pond

Lunch Anyone?

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Giraffe Lunch

Bathroom Celebration

Tennis Ball Retriever

One

Tonsil Ring

Brew Haul-her - 12 Brewskies At A Time

Anon-y-moose

Redneck Beer Opener

Greek Monk

Dates For Everyone

Max Occupancy Rounded to 100

Group Photo

Awning Truck Advertising

Harley Load

Face To Face

Who Needs Physics?

Benched Puppies

Water Relief

Shot Glasses

Men in Denim

Chocolate Couch