#1 humor site on the 'net

Buy Whatever

Fathers Day Special at Canadian Tire

Buy Whatever thanks to Karen Moore

Buy Whatever thanks to Karen Moore

QuotaBills
I buy when other people are selling. - J Paul Getty

Whatever your advice, make it brief. - Horace

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame. - Benjamin Franklin

I Said So: Reason enough, according to Dad - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare

Choose your neighbor before you buy your house. - African Proverb

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

You can't buy a good reputation; you must earn it. - Harvey Mackay

You must accept the truth from whatever source it comes. - Maimonides

Whatever you don't turn into Praise turns into Pride. - Mark Batterson

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

A father is someone you look up to no matter how tall you grow. - Unknown

A woman will buy anything she thinks the store is losing money on. - Kin Hubbard

Whatever you do, do it with intelligence, and keep the end in view. - Thomas á Kempis

My father was grounded, a very meat-and-potatoes man. He was a baker. - Anthony Hopkins

I'm a father; that's what matters most. Nothing matters more. - Gordon Brown

People don't buy for logical reasons. They buy for emotional reasons. - Zig Ziglar

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something. - Jackie Mason

Obscenity is whatever happens to shock some elderly and ignorant magistrate. - Bertrand Russell

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

I haven't taught people in 50 years what my father taught by example in one week. - Mario Cuomo

Money can't buy you happiness... but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan

My brother Bob doesn't want to be in government - he promised Dad he'd go straight. - John F Kennedy

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The most important thing my father taught me is that every man has to stand up for his rights. - Ziggy Marley

Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween every day. - Gwen Stefani

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. - Phyllis Diller

Success is one thing you can't pay for. You buy it on the installment plan and make payments every day. - Zig Ziglar

You always buy familiar names, the ones you recognize; that's why the adman always claims it pays to advertise. - Unknown

Whatever good or bad fortune may come our way, we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value. - Hermann Hesse

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. - Rodney Dangerfield

To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway

He adopted a role called being a father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a protector. - Tom Wolfe

When you're young, you think your Dad is Superman. Then you grow up, and you realize he's just a regular guy who wears a cape. - Dave Attell

Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies?
There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made. - Groucho Marx

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten


Domino's Delivers Everywhere

Lord of the Wings

Crossed Wires

Monday Lisa

Pets Come First

If You Need Space

Economy Flight

Redneck Hailstone Damage

Wet Tents

Redneck Flu Shot

Japanese Diving Platform

All Mine

Cat Swimming at the Olympics

Yoga Food

Paint Room

Beer Cheers

Olympic Preparations

Row Your Goat

My Kind Of Exercise

Surround Sound for Babies

Cemetery Protest

Clean Senior Citizens

Taco Bell Secret Seasoning

Goodbye Tattoo