#1 humor site on the 'net

Be Very Quiet

Hoping they don't catch things scent

Be Very Quiet thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

Anything for a quiet life. - Thomas Middleton

A quiet fool is half a sage. - Yiddish Proverb

Happiness means quiet nerves. - WC Fields

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

What is a home without children? Quiet. - Henny Youngman

The best cure for the body is a quiet mind. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Oppression can only survive through silence. - Armen de Monteflores

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

The elephant can survive only if forests survive. - Mark Shand

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. - Unknown

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

Britain's goal is not to survive, but to prevail. - Winston Churchill

For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord. - Unknown

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value. - Arthur C. Clarke

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

That woman is liable to come at you like a Doberman's Pincher. - Archie Bunker

It is not clear that intelligence has any long-term survival value. - Stephen Hawking

Creative minds have been known to survive any sort of bad training. - Anna Freud

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

Cause Change & Lead
Accept Change & Survive
Resist Change & Die - Ray Norda

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

Never, for the sake of peace and quiet, deny your own experience or convictions. - Dag Hammarskjold

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive. - Wallace Irwin

The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

It is not so much where my motivation comes from but rather how it manages to survive. - Louise Bourgeois

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

It used to be that people needed products to survive. Now products need people to survive. - Nicholas Johnson

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

If you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy and colorful and lively. - Mel Brooks

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. - Doug Larson

There comes a time in every life when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your heart. - Sarah Dessen

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation. - Oscar Wilde

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. - Unknown

Love, like democracy, can survive almost any attack - except neglect, indifference and maybe an arrow in the back. - Unknown

Plenty of people who survive tragedies end up ambivalent about danger--frightened by it, yet strangely drawn to it. - Keith Ablow

It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. - Charles Darwin

A happy life must be to a great extent a quiet life, for it is only in an atmosphere of quiet that true joy dare live. - Bertrand Russell

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts. - Robert H. Schuller

A strong person is the one who knows how to be quiet, shed a tear for a moment, and then picks up their gloves and fights again. - Unknown

If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers! - Homer Simpson

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

No matter how good or bad you think life is, wake up each day and be thankful for life. Someone somewhere else is fighting to survive. - Unknown

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style. - Maya Angelou

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. - C S Lewis

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash


Quiet Place To Study

No Beatle Haircuts

Lego Anatomy

His First Hot Rod

Hair Safety

Open Air Reader

Vacation At Last

Cutting Edge Delivery

Sunset Eclipse

Diet Swing

Lamp Escape

Strong Straws

Lucky Spectator

Breadlace

I Think I'll Hold It

Instant Coffee Tragedy

Cow Camouflage

Room For Two

Neandertallica

Key-o-Saurus

Pure Maple Syrup

Dentist Drill

Wife Consumption

Dog Proctologist